I want to die like my father

I want to die slowly and gradually in my bed like my dad- warm and comfy,

I want to die smiling so shiny and bright like my dad- elegantly he looked upon death- so daring, so dashing!

I want to die in the arms of my loved ones-

Some of them will see me from distance-

I can’t hold them- It’s so frightening,

I want to die like my dad after he has accomplished everything,

A family of four kids, a pile of files and a diary filled with words left behind,

I want to die like my father- calm but glorious,

But, I know I can’t,

Some of his deeds remained incomplete,

Some of his children were still playing in the field-

Some of his words still left unspoken-

Some of his wishes left unfulfilled –

I want to die like him in a comfy bed knowing I hid a cancer in my cells, in my bones and in my breath- the same way he knew but chose to die,

Never chasing life-

I want to die like my father-

Break free from all ties knowingly and consciously – he chose death over the upcoming joys,

I know I can’t die like him-

Not atleast in my comfy bed, in my own home, surrounded with kids and an ambiguous wife,

Cause, I would never build a home like him so fragile!

©® Farheen Bhuiyan Nancy

Time Frame: 12.50 pm,midnight, MIST, Mirpur Cantonment.

Reflections

A decade went lamenting for you, A decade spent ranting about you, A series of decade has gone by blaming

Emancipation

Faulty stars in the sky leading to a faulty love story—well, stars were not deformed. It was our own fault—a

Racing Hearts

It was nice to know you. It’s a pleasure to meet you. It’s sweet to kiss you. But it’s horrendous

Addiction

You were not my love. You were merely just an addiction, Talking with you over the phone, Fighting over

Circles

Love was a priority then. Happiness was destiny. But now love is not predestined. Sometimes it’s a mistake. But mistakes

Sabotage

I was standing on the brink of a montage. But you always end up bringing about sabotage! I overcame the

Farheen Akter Bhuian