Last time when we met after decades,
I asked you a particular question,
Will I keep waiting for you?!
You said, no!
This is a closure meeting my love.
With heavy weight on my heart I let you go.
Again, you slipped away from my hands like slipping sands.
My tulip is in another’s hand,
That’s why I relish suffering now.
You asked the same question to me a decade ago,
I didn’t wait.
So, did you.
Now, I know how it feels when people slips away.
Time can’t be rebounded.
Waves that washes away sands doesn’t return always.
Lovers that part away for good never return.
There is a heavy rock sitting on my chest.
The rock of guilt and shame.
Shamelessly, still I am in love with you.
Shamelessly, I look for your return in my arms.
They are kept wide open only for you.
You know Adam,
I enjoy suffering now.
Without you, I want to suffer lifetime.
But, did you find my replacement?!
Is that person a home to you?!
Do you belong to her?!
Does she give peace to you, my sweetheart?!
All my dreams were shattered.
Now, I am living a nightmare.
Destroying myself for the sake of love.
We do kill ourselves in love.
Our happy selves.
I don’t smile from heart now in absence of you.
My heart is filled with fears now.
What if I lose again?!
What if I stay a loser forever?!
What if I can’t love another ever again?!
Tell me Adam, does love happen twice?!
Tell me Adam, Answer to me!
Can you love somebody this intense again?!
©® Farheen Akter Bhuian Nancy
Timestamp: 2.30 am, midnight thoughts, Tagar