There is a wave of sadness in my eyes.

Deep-profound- unsettling!

There is a wave of sadness in my eyes that I cannot hide.

A stormy delight-

That forgot the shore, 

And, the old uproar,

Quietly forming beneath my chest to explode in ache.

My heart is drowned in the unspoken words that I never said before.

People call it silence, 

But, I call it resilience. 

Because, silence has never been this loud that would awake them.

Everybody in the town knows my secret.

They can see the silent pain that I bear in my eyes,

Through my glances they can rejoice the suffering I try to hide from them.

Everybody can see through me- my losses. 

It walks past me like a shadow in the crowded rooms,

A lonely one hiding behind the broader smile.

I carry a whole ocean and continent in my chest, 

As if they were meant to be diversified. 

Solidified memories swim in the ocean with salted taste,

Bitter yet necessary to remember not to get attached-

To the same pain again. 

Every goodbye became another tide that I couldn’t save, 

Another wave that I couldn’t follow and clash! Another shipwreck.

Another drowning that I couldn’t avoid.

Every departure landed on my chest like a landmine loudly exploded but kept hidden. 

Every fleeting affection became a grave,

I think I am too brave to dig my own grave in the cemetery of ruins.

Too brave not to let go of those painful memories mummified in my soul. 

Yet, somehow I still wait for a gentle rain to pour into my heart.

A soulful rain that can touch my ache and wash away all pain. 

A tender touch that can melt away all those rocks sitting on my chest with love and care. 

I think I will keep ruminating and longing, 

As today’s world is doomed and there’s no trace of romantic love anymore. 

I think I hope in vain, there’s no linear way to true love. 

Everybody is busy connecting without even feeling each other,

They are practicing detachment and diversification while staying together.

One gentle hand could remove all the scars from my body, oh, I needed such a midas touch!

That would heal me, mend me, fix me in a way as if a persian king rebuilt the ruined city with his charm!

There is a wave of sadness in my eyes, 

But deep inside, lives a fragile hope that still looks up in the sky…..

In hope of a healing love that would understand me without saying a word and laying a finger on me. 

A love that doesn’t touch, but lingers. 

A love that touches the soul first, then fixes the broken pieces, then kisses with its midas touch! 

A hope of love, that asks to understand me without trying so hard, 

A kind of love that asks fearfully, 

‘Please, love me without destroying me.’ 

A love that constructs, but doesn’t distracts,

A love that builds hope but doesn’t break it!

A hope so benign in a hopeless world so 

uptight!!!

And, a gentle healer lover who asks, 

‘Show me how to hold your fragile heart without breaking it,

Show me how to preserve your honor delicately.

Show me how to touch you softly,

Show me how to feel you without you explaining. 

Show me all your pain and let me feel you the way no one ever has!’

Be that vulnerable, broken person and see me compare to none, 

Just listen to you, 

Trying to wipe out your tears!’

Sighs, my shadows replied….

The evolved one who understands the cost of heartbreak could hold your heart.

The one who can understand my silence and silent gestures. 

The one who can understand my walking away and still follows,

The one who understands my grief before learning my body and soul. 

Are you prepared?!

The ghosts residing in my chests are blushing behind the bush. 

The ambush before the amputation gave me a reputation of stone hearted woman so cold. 

The healer is freezing in the snow, waiting me to meltdown and blow! 

©® Farheen Akter Bhuian Nancy 

Timeframe: 8.57 pm, Tagar

Image from Smart Witch.