Love in the time of anarchy
Farheen Akter Bhuian
Preface
Dr.Habibul Haque Khondker
Professor, Humanities and Social Sciences,
Zayed University.
The poems of Farheen Akhter Bhuiya combine a deep sensibility of love with her acute reflections on society and culture. The intersectionality is the hallmark of her contributions. A budding sociologist smitten by the love of poetry, the young poet has a flair for language. Her playful use of language and her deep sense of turning everyday life experience into a poetic form is a rare quality. In her poem “Viva-Board” she expresses her deep feelings with utter clarity and exposes the hollowness of such a hallowed institution. Or in “Commodity”, she narrates:
“Humans- a commodity now.
Skills and endeavors are all a function of ‘objectification’,…”
Deep sociological insights are made easy with the help of poetic exuberance.
Her paradoxical lines betray her maturity – despite her young years; as she exudes a whiff of existentialism:
“Writers don’t sleep,
They don’t love,
They are not free,
They only know to invent and then blend!
They just create-just like thoughts,
They are always a being in process!”
(Writers)
In a “A tale of a blooming flower and butterfly”, she reminds:
“Passion in love stays only for some time like a blooming flower!”
Hello baby boy, are you my blooming flower in spring or monsoon, then,
I am your butterfly,…”
Elsewhere she muses:
“Fallen leaves or a fallen angel
I want to fall upon you like feathers,
A fallen leaf flown- Touched by the gentle breeze,
Or a fallen angel in your arms from the heavens,…”
Think of me as a superfluous floating river-
Or, in “Arousal”, her deep passion is expressed thus:
“Touch my lips and then chew them,
I would like to be your bubble gum,…”
Despite her deep sensibilities, the sociologist in Farheen Akter Bhuiya surfaces frequently enough as in the poem, “Love in the time of late modernity/Love in the society of reflexive capitalism…!!”
“In any relationship-
Never be a proletariat; you will lose access,
Never be a revolutionary; you will lose all what you have,
Never be a capitalist; you are going to have everything,
but still, you’ll be an offender and a loser…”
The title of her book is surely Marquezian*. Like Nobel-laureate Gabriel Garcia Marquez, the author of this book of poetry seeks to discover romance in the darkness of life, and passion in the middle of misery. This little anthology of poems is a song of discovery, hope, and joy.
Love in the Time of Cholera (1985).
Department of Sociology
University of Dhaka
Love in the time of Anarchy, by Farheen Akter Bhuian, is an examination of love, loss, lust, tragedy, and romanticism in the age of postmodernity. She examines devastation and the perseverance of the remnants in her first collection of poetry, which is rich with metaphor. In these poems, she tries to unearth what has been buried, both personally and in the collective mind. Farheen’s poetry draws inspiration from her surroundings and contemporary social issues, which she reworks with sharp, original insights. Her pragmatist and sensual style spanned several genres, including love poetry, spiritual poems, and realistic ones with a sense of a ‘Positive thinking approach’. She celebrated such “immoral” themes as nature, love, the body, and relationship in her groundbreaking free verse style.
Her verses reflect deeply on life, love, and ethics that stand the test of time. She gathered inspiration from the scenes of nature. She was born in the middle east, so the middle eastern view appeared and reappeared in her writings, mixed with the beauty of the ebb of her motherland Bangladesh.
Poems such asArousal, Flaunt your love baby! Desire, Fallen leaves, or a fallen angel dance with the taboo of human’s deep psyche of lust, desires, and forbidden love that humans want to explore unrestrictively. Also, she romanticized the union of two people and pronounced the victory of pure love in her creations. She celebrated urban life’s disturbing realities while tying them to sexuality, human yearnings, longings, love bondage, and death.
It doesn’t matter if Farheen is mending capitalism with spirituality or inventing the dynamics of love in reflexive modernity in a society of flux; her poems manage to move readers with their lyrical lines and nuanced depictions of the human condition.Her insightful observations of nature and her ability to effortlessly highlight the vital connections between all life forms, Insightful commentary on the natural world she has spent so much time in.
She writes so openly and flexibly. Yet, her style is so elusive and mysterious that she speaks her heart to the readers so that she can build a rapport with her readers and engage their minds in the unravelling and musing of her creations. You can’t help but be charmed by Farheen’s openness and the candour of her personal reflections, which are laced with exuberant declarations of life.
Although her tone of voice can be harsh and vengeful at times, she also has softer, more vulnerable sides. By exposing the reader to topics that most people would rather avoid, Farheen enriches their lives. Her revengeful voice is heard subtly in the poems such as Extinction or Nirvana, Partial truth, A swollen shallop, Arcane, An empty trash can and so on.
Also, she has explored the trails of mysticism and spirituality and the transition of the changing society in her observatory sharp notion that has been reflected in her write-ups such as we can see the poet experimenting in her poem Transition of love how love and romanticism are viewed in today’s society, Some of her poems are mystical and spiritual such as God is the God of order, Eyes, Inner God.
Some of her poems are sociological and philosophical at the same time where she has analyzed society with her analytical insights, in poems, for instance, Generation, The philosophy of Power of the Subalterns!, Power hunger, Historical Materialism, Commodity, Love in the time of late modernity/Love in the society of reflexive capitalism…!!.
Some of her poems are deeply inflicted with sad emotions as we can see the poetess has put words on her loss and pain and give them a shape in an aesthetic way that propels us to wonder human spirit’s determination and zeal for life despite facing all the odds, these connect us to the very essence of our nature and deep-rooted emotions, She poured her heart out in the poems where we can have the essence of pure sadness and feel her numbness, poems as Loss, Candle, Survival, Eyes of a thousand life, Living dead, Orphan, Unhealed, Pain, Hopes.
The meticulous storytelling and evocative detail of Farheen Akter Bhuian transport the reader to a world of profound reality and deep insights.
Love and Aggression
Love and aggression run side by side,
The passion of ignition fumes the sight,
Love subdues the pitch of aggression
while aggression deems the light of love,
In the anarchical love, we find,
Love and aggression are two brothers and sisters
who bond together at the same time.
Angels and demons reside on the same planet,
How angelic and demonic you’ll become depends
on the other person who treats you the same!
Angelic or demonic, accept me as I’ve accepted you with
all your good and bad,
with all your flaws, I’ve loved you,
Angelic or demonic, I’ve come all the way across!
Sweetheart
You are my armour,
I need your love and affection
More and more!
You are my sweetheart for whom my
Heart beats so fast and only with you
I am steadfast!
You keep me grounded,
You are the nucleus of my life and its orbit
Is our up and down journey and yah,
its round and beautiful!
I do not want to forget your face,
I Don’t want to forget your words and acts,
Everytime you renew all your greatness and
I can not see myself stranded away with you,
You are a gift sent to me from heavens!
Protect me in your arms forever!
We will build our own world very different!!!
You were an unhealed lion,
I healed you in all possible ways,
Now in the process of healing you-
I am wounded, deeply hurt, and injured in love
Can you heal me, pardon?!
If not then I became like you while healing you-
Unhealed and resentful.
I healed you with my love and affection-
But, you remain aloof from this connection-
So illiterate in love you are!
I don’t see any resolution in you!
The only change I see in you is becoming more
tolerant and hopeful, brought you out from distress and disdain,
but you made me fall into the pits of despair,
Heal me now, I am begging for a magical herb that treated you.
Do you know what is that?!
The unconditional love that I gave you!
I loved you unconditionally but who knew you didn’t,
Unconditional was my love,and now it is conditioned,
How can you expect me to love seemingly
without any conditions when your own love for me
has always been conditional?
A tale of a blooming flower and butterfly
Boy, if you can be periodically alone sometimes and give me some space to do my own things,
Then, I am into you because love happens once in a while spuriously, and if It’s continuous,
then it can be anything else but not love, dear, be sure of that!
Either, It’s a routine or habit or an innate need, perhaps friendship to subdue your loneliness
but not passion; passion in love stays only for some time like a blooming flower!
Hello baby boy, are you my blooming flower in spring or monsoon, then,
I am your butterfly,
Just remember!
Memory
You can not forget anything-
That’s an innate problem,
You can not forget any sweet memories
Nor can you forget toxic ones-
You can’t forget any of them!
You can’t even forget the physical memory –
The touches and smooches and kisses and cuddles- you can’t forget!
You can’t forget what you listen and what you see,
It resonates!
You can’t forget the wounds you get-
You don’t forget the pain in injury-
The ‘Body’ reminds of everything.
The ‘Eyes’ can’t assimilate Its lids,
The ‘Ears’ is desperate to listen the voices
what it has always longed to hear,
Memoirs of pain always remains-
In the core of heart- it always hurts you in silence.
You are beautiful but risky,
You are tall and handsome but like a whiskey,
One shot and lost in the whirlpool of imagination,
Oh, your voice is damn so husky!
One glass of fine wine, you are,
Better to drink you on occasions and
be sober the other weekends,
You are not my comfy half-silk,
You are a classy attire wore once in a while,
In a party and then forgotten for ages until
It’s a mood for celebration.
I can’t be vulnerable with you or with anyone,
Cause the golden heart is lost in
The magical world of golden times,
You and I, and all of us, are now tuned to
a disastrous age and chaotic period,
We can not hide nor reveal our true selves,
We live in the mirage of integrated parts and
We have always been busy mending broken parts
lost into that coherent facade of ourselves,
that we choose to show others and
pretend to be ourselves,
But, basically, we aren’t what we show,
Actually, we are not us what we intend to carry on,
We don’t know who we are and where is our destination,
And, where’s humanity’s true emancipation,
forget about the connections-
They are just delusions.
Stars should not fall in land as
human can crash them
and make furniture with them too!
Don’t give me a death wish,
I wore death like a winning trophy,
Don’t whine and whimper about this,
I’ve been married to my scaffold for years,
Now, I wear my hanging rope-like
a diamond neckpiece,
You can not perish me!
I’ve lived and re-lived,
I’ve died and been alive,
For years and years- in survival mode,
I am a survivor, a warrior,
You can not defeat me!
Love me or hate me,
I am your destiny!
Mute yourself- Don’t you ever feel exhaustive
for not being my ally and always standing in opposition,
being my mutiny?
What a loss of pride –
an uncompromising battle we run!
Our ego’s height is like Everest that
None can ever win!
You can not touch my heights and
I can not delimit myself with your heights!
What a mismatch!
But, there is always a but- in the unravelling-
You and I are a full stop with many, many intervals and commas in between!
Some things are unrepairable, unchangeable,
It’s just that it is as it has always been for!
We just learn to negotiate, replace or shift focus
to new adventures and inventions to cut down the monotony of endurance!
That’s it!
There is no true love nor true companionship,
True love is a myth,
True love doesn’t exist,
Whatever exists, It’s just survival or
the necessity to be existent in society.
Love bleeds, love hurts, and love monopolizes,
Love is not furnished; instead, it is always drained,
Drowning in the cycle of love-
An entire humanity lives a life unloved,
Like a bay leaf- dried and unheard,
Adjustment is romanticized what we call love!
Adjustments in the name of love are hypocritical
that we determine to live off some
and anyhow, only for the sake of buying some security and showing off!
Don’t rush to put off your clothes, baby,
You are acting like a hurricane,
Slow down, darling,
We tear our dresses when we meet.
We tear each other like unfed lions,
We tear up each other’s flesh like crocodiles.
We rear sweet and sour memories together.
We bear our hearts on our sleeves,
We team up, and ace like spades and don’t spare each other.
What a passion, what an ignition!
You kill me with your looks,
And, your words- we burn our lungs in
futile arguments until we part our ways apart.
Still, we decide to stay- because of the golden
time we have ripen together.
For good old sake we stay despite of
burning each other in live fireworks,
Alas! Humans always tend to live in past,
You were my past and so my present,
You are still my present and so you are my notorious future!
Your and mine complicated story is making history!
Glorious or Mortifying,
We mortal beings are buying some time for us
to comprehend our unresolved deeds!
Farewell
I bid you a farewell
with a lofy remix I sang with you
Tear drops in my eye corner-
My velvet heart is drowning-
I’ll miss your fragrance-
Your physicality –
Your omnipotent presence –
Your melodious voice.
I bid you farewell –
And, I bid your soul attached with me-
That I can not be a part of your ideology anymore.
I can not hear from you or see you-
My heart is aching with pain.
Culture disapproves of our fascination,
But we do whatever we want-
Desire is somewhat a supreme infatuation!
Culture is a lethargy-
We are instinctual habitually, and we do not
abide by any rules or structures –
If given a chance or in isolation.
Culture gives us a set of norms and regulations-
We follow them as a ‘rule book’ only in the front stage for managing impressions,
But, deep down inside- we look for escapism,
Class structure exploits us-Our freedom,
But, it is us who confirm to class,
Because historically we’ve believed in
aggregation and affirmation,
Now, we can not live alone, stateless, penniless,
identity-less and group-less,
Because we’ve determined our minds to build an image
and we live in a world full of imagination.
Our secured world crumbles when we arrive in the field of realism.
Society and Social institutions are a harsh reality
And we can not oppose it as we always want to dwell
as a social entity in a socio-elite society and promote consumerism.
Consumerism is a higher trend of cosmopolitanism and globalisation,
It’s another facade of today’s capitalism,
We think and act like a passive receivers,
We have lost the zest and passion for revolution,
It’s a dull phase of internalization,
We’ve culturally approved such kinds of
indulgence and interactions (Internalization)
Culture will not approve of our inner desires,
Culture will not support our dreams and passions,
But, we do style our dispositions according to culture,
Culture shapes our identity, bonding and survival,
In a ‘Cultural cage,’ we are not free, neither can we get full emancipation,
We’ve to trade off our belongings to the ‘Trade-masters’,
And, then, only can we enjoy a ‘supposed’ ounce of liberation.
I love to hear my name on your lips-
I love to see your ash look-
when your eyes meets mine,
I love to hear your voice- over and over again-
When you pause while talking-
When you swallow some words-
That’s a triumphant moment.
I do not want to heal-
From this love sickness.
Baby, I am love sick-
Come cure me-
Pour some magic on me-
From your savouring dish-
On a lavish suite we dreamt of living in!
I can hear your heartbeat,
I can sense your feelings,
But, your heart doesn’t belong to me!
And, I can not thrive for it!
Your heartbeats are slowly withering away,
Your face is becoming like a facade,
You are moving further and far away,
You are always a distant being-
I’ve seen you from a corner-
I’ve adored you from a distance –
And, I’ve longed for you only in my imaginations.
You are just an empty trash can,
loaded with gas with no beverages,
You are just an opportunist
who tends to seek leverages- one after another,
A feudal rat!
An immature brat!
Loaded with loath and envy-
Your eyes are covered with rage of hidden
agendas and contemplations.
No more compulsions –
Can serve you,
Cause, you have played multiple cards
of manipulations and no cards were left unturned!
You are always saved because of your funny statements-
Alas, what is life but a combination of satires, tragedy and comedy!
You are an epitome of betrayal-
A double-faced snake,
Sometimes- A double edged sword,
You and I, both bleed in the bloodbath of acquisition.
Our love was at it’s initial stage medieval,
We begin to enjoy our own carnival,
Then, the period comes of interval,
Where, you and I split in the spirit of diabolism,
We spited ugly words on each other-
Our relationship then became dialectical.
In the thesis and antithesis of our
dichotomous love,
We synthesized on the conundrum.
Now, we are in the period of liquid love,
You and I, we both shall become flexible.
Crossing the long trails of mediocrity and modernity,
We become more and more conscious,
With the flex,
We become united but separated in
minds and wants,
In the process of building conscience,
We lose more dignity and signify loose connections.
Thus, in the amalgamation,
We tend to lose interest still stay together in the wake of wanting
the rootlessness and declare freedom.
May be in some other era,
On some other planet we get to do
whatever we desire,
Desire is an enemy as we have to
confront it daily and defeat it by living in seclusion.
But, not a being can live a life of asceticism,
He or she is bound to be affected by the
solidarity of groups and people.
And, in the reciprocal relationships and interactions,
One is bound to interact and bestow over satisfying connections.
Sometimes you are so bright in a beautiful morning and you bring the joys of sunshine,
Sometimes you are so dull and dampen in an awkward mood and then you make the day look flop-
A parody song sung in the wicked summer camp, so gloomy with such boredom, Alas!
But, sometimes you smile and then it feels like-
Thousands of flower blooming in the blooms field in the middle of the town,
Sometimes you shout like a siren heading towards to stop the uncivilized crowd,
You become a mob amidst the mob on mondays,
You become a snob amidst the known strangers on wednesdays,
You also become cranky with your loved ones on the weekends-
especially on the thursdays,
You are then lost in the gossiping circle on the fridays!
You are both a chamomile tea and a chameleon,
At the same time, you can do both-
sooth and bring irritations!
I name you an ‘Arcane’,
You are an ‘Arsenal of arcades’,
An ‘Archaic of updates’ and the ‘beats of mad age’!
Oh, you were my precious time slot in some unreported spots,
Where my footprints were left-
soaked in cold beverages-all alone!
Queen
He doesn’t say me I am his queen,
He doesn’t shower me with flowers so exotic,
He doesn’t say loud that I am his biggest achievement
but surely what he does is-
Treats me like a queen,
Reminds me everyday of that,
He keeps making efforts and ensures that-
I am his biggest achievement subtle in his
actions and delights.
I’ve overcome greed, jealousy,
prejudice, desires and longings-
All for you!
But, Alas!
You’ve discarded nothing
but these things have taken shelter in you.
So, easily!
You’ve been a slave to desires-
Our wrecking home!
My home was you- and I see you in jeopardy-
Lost and broken in jealousy-
You’ve become a swollen shallop!
Void of you makes me a wanderer,
An illusionist- always in illusion,
I built hopes one after another-
A castle in the storm!
But, everything stops- in the mesmerizing echo
of a wanderer’s desperate moan-
Oh, dear, everything is gone!
Nothing lasts forever and if anything does,
It’s in a state of partial truth!
Monologue on trust
‘You may think of me that I am not fun,
but trust me dear, I am a funny alibi only with my entrusted allies.
Coincidence
If we met coincidentally twice,
That, means we are meant to be destined to walk some path together
in a direction for some reasons for a while!
Hey, you, my passionate lover,
I am a selfish being- Don’t adore me,
I don’t deserve it!
As, I love only for the sake of writing poems!
I like you because you stimulate my thoughts and I
could give those words, nothing else!
So if you are a constant inspiration for my creations-
only then, I love you!
See, how prudently brutal I am!
Never love a poetess, as she only knows to dig deep
and put you in extinction,
lost into the world of her creations!
Fictional
Like Rumi,
I would like to say,
I’ve made so many love stories,
Now, I feel fictional.
Sometimes I struggle to deter myself from the reality and the fictions,
And, to remove myself from the fictional characters-
That, I’ve internalized within myself!
A strain of hair
Leaving a strain of my hair,
For you in the book left alone in the lonesome rag,
A strain of hair for you to discover in the bookshelf
along with the mismatched pairs.
I want you to find it and keep it,
As, Rumi once said,
From books and words come fantasy,
And, sometimes, from fantasy comes the union.
I so want to hear your voice
But,I can’t call or text you,
I so want to see your sight,
But, I can’t sit beside you
and, have a conversation,
Because, you and I belong to different
times and we are in different stages,
There are thousand and thousands of curtains
hung between us,
Miles of paths to cross,
But, most of it there are uncertainties,
I do not know what you think,
I can not contemplate what you are, and so
my time flies in the supposed anticipations!
I am afraid to talk to you,
As I don’t want to ruin these beautiful feelings,
I fear all those initial things will get destroyed
Whatever is brewing-
In the ‘tell a tale’ algorithm,
I’ve no stories in store to impress you,
Cause, somewhere, I know that when you’ll
Hear my part of the story- you will blow!
And you will move away and be cold and distant,
You might be in shock or surprise,
Intimidating is my aura, and this is the last thing I want to see in you.
I always wanted an initiation but ended up in the piercing effects of intimidation,
I’ve no ‘go to the round corner table talk’ or ‘catchy gestures in the hindsight’ appraisal,
I am not shrewd, but I am not also a dumb,
But, just in the fear of losing this initiation,
This wonderful feeling-I want to keep it forever
and forget to make the first attempt,
Or, could never initiate the great romantic initiation that I once longed for!
You are not my cup of tea-
I am not your go-to comfy drink-
Still, we desire to take a sip-
Sip by sip- We want to appease our thirst-
That’s how we are built in.
A lustful glimpse speaks a lot-
They spark to get you along!
Smirk with a blush –
What an epic adrenaline rush!
We are in a disaster,
A pandemic has to appear-
For us to disappear –
To hide in each other’s arm
We conceal our identities and become one-
As we confide in each other-
The destination shall unite-
But, great accomplishments out of this union
is what the mysterious poetess desire!
Individualism
Be the reason for my abundance, not redundance,
Be my assurance, be my compliance,
But not an ominous menace!
Be my passionate lover and admirer,
But, not a clingy gold-digger,
Yes, if you appear to be a free rider-
You have no values and of course,
you are ridiculous!
But, be whatever you want to,
Don’t be a people pleaser-
In the journey of making love-
We shall prioritize individualism,
What I ought to learn from you and what
you’ve learned from me in the long run-
Shall be remembered!
In the play of seduction,
We talk in clues-
But, be implicit –
Be assured.
In the play of seduction-
You are a master of words-
I get swayed by your thoughts!
Fallen leaves or a fallen angel
I want to fall upon you like feathers,
A fallen leave flown- Touched by the gentle breeze,
Or a fallen angel in your arms from the heavens,
Think of me as a superfluous floating river-
Seen, but the traces and trails are always hidden-
Heard, but the echos never returned-
Felt but never touched once-
Think of me as fallen leaves-
It was supposed to fall on your palms-
But, it drifted away further-
In the flight of tenacity and eccentric behavior!
I bid you a farewell
with a lofy remix I sang with you
Tear drops in my eye corner-
My velvet heart is drowning-
I’ll miss your fragrance-
Your physicality –
Your omnipotent presence –
Your melodious voice.
I bid you farewell –
And, I bid your soul attached with me-
That I can not be a part of your ideology anymore.
I can not hear from you or see you-
My heart is aching with pain.
I want both of your hands to wrap around me,
Your fingers twisted with my fingers,
Your gentle smooches around my neck,
Your whispering voice in my ears-
And, your shaky breath intermingle,
Let this hour linger-
So that bits of our mind get swindle
And, my swollen ankle get tangled-
My eyes playing the tricks of twinkle-
Only the thoughts of you can get me an arousal-
The fantastic fantasies of holding you and
getting held by you drives me into the world of
drowsy arousal-
Wondering how would be your real arrival!
May be then I’ll be in a mood of carnival,
You can make me a cannibal,
Here, begins now a new upheaval,
I am in front of you, don’t look into tinder-
Hey, try get to know me better-
And, don’t ever intend to be a free rider-
I am not a broker or a social climber,
The path, The interaction- let’s not hinder,
Broaden up your mode of thinking,
Be a deep thinker, be broader,
Be a bit kinder-
Don’t make any trouble-
But, I am longing for you-
I want to devour you in and out,
But, would love to get consumed all by you,
Think me as a serving dish in front of you!
Hey, Look into my eyes and hear in my voice,
Touch my lips and then chew them,
I would like to be your bubble gum,
Stay with me, hold me and touch me
with your unparalleled ideas until my mind gets blank-
A total zero!
And, then I want to make you both ‘Hero’ and the ‘Antihero’!
You are such a coward- that you don’t make a move or proceed further,
You are always in a fear-
Fear of clashing of the egos,
Or, may be clashing of the chaos,
Self-perception is a myth, a maxim and safer to say,
Its self-proclamation based on interactions and provided values,
Don’t be a headache anyways,
I don’t want to think about all this stuff and conventional contours,
You be mine, I become yours in a moonlit night when everything is quiet and bright!
We then adore!
But, the union- the world abhors!
Without you the interplay is not fun-
I need you!
Don’t beat around the bush and
Let me follow your conundrum,
I am a great admirer and a follower,
Don’t think me so hollower that I’ll be a mere hooker
and try to tie you with my enigma forever!
Instead I’ll be a midsummer vacation that
you would never forget –
Let alone remind to beget another assumption.
Prepare yourself for a great long hours of consumption!
The philosophy of getting ‘Autonomy’
There is no love in ‘Authority’,
There is no freedom in ‘Autonomy’,
But there is no peace in being a ‘Nobody’,
You’ll have to choose, dear,
Either be an ‘Authority’ and seek your
‘Autonomy’ or be a ‘Nobody’
but still fight for your ‘Autonomy’.
Synastry
The synastry brings such an epitome of chemistry,
The whirlwind of love and lust and tragedies!
There is a spark in our synergy,
There is a notion of unshattered trust in our bonding,
that sometimes we don’t notice!
Faith is a nest to build and a glue to cling,
Trust is a cosmic energy that binds the universe
at various ranges!
So, dear, be self-assured and believe in yourself!
An interrogation
What’s your favourite hobby?!
-To lick your lips.
What’s your favourite leisure?!
-To cuddle you.
What’s your favourite view?!
-To see you sleep in my arms.
What’s your most favourite thing in the world?!
-It’s you. You are my world; I belong to you.
You hurt me, you change me,
You change me then you get
none of my chilling parts,
Cause, once I change, I’ve evolved,
Just like water evaporates or gets frozen,
So, mind it before you hurt me again.
Anticipation
I so want to hear your voice
But,I can’t call or text you,
I so want to see your sight,
But, I can’t sit beside you
and, have a conversation,
Because, you and I belong to different
times and we are in different stages,
There are thousand and thousands of curtains
hung between us,
Miles of paths to cross,
But, most of it there are uncertainties,
I do not know what you think,
I can not contemplate what you are,
My time flies in the supposed anticipations!
Sight
You taste like an ethnic spice-So intense,
Sometimes you taste salty like clear seawater
and, at times, you taste like bubble gum,
So soft and flavourful!
I enjoy the way you stare,
The way you stand straight,leaning back,
I enjoy the view of you- even when you are coughing,
It’s so interesting to see you speak!
And, deliver a speech,
You are like a melodious song to hear,
I want to listen your coerce voice for eternity –
You are an epitome of beauty-
You are handsome and overtly cute,
Can I make you a part of my fleeting destiny?!
If yes, then I think I am in love- In love of your sight!
Stubborn
I was stubborn to love you,
Smitten by you,
I was adamant to see the end,
I made sure it to be with you.
Smitten by you.
I never let my hope down upon you.
Priority
If I give you attention that means you are in my priority list,
Priority matters more than necessity,
It means giving importance despite of not you being necessary!
Next age
Enjoy the moment baby,
The while you are with me holding each other tight in arms,
Who knows what happens next,
Who knows what’s in the lot in the next age!
Unconventional
Only unconventional kinds of people can recognize their types.
Loyalty
Loyalty is an overated buzzword, you show loyalty when you don’t have any options.
I know many people don’t understand me,
they misread me, misrepresent me and misguide me,
So, I don’t make an effort for those folks to understand me anyways,
Says beautiful Adeline.
In the process of depersonalization,
We often tend to breach the connections,
In the process of being austere,
We forget to become tender!
In the process of being self,
We do not intend to stand for others,
In the process of individualization,
We lose interrelations!
In being the ‘One’ we hinder the process of
being ‘Us’,
Thus, what a losing generation we are,
And, we will reproduce likewise
from generation to generation in intervals.
You bedazzle my eyes with your charm and the way you talk,
You bedazzle my mind with your twisted words,
Please don’t toy with my simple mind!
I think I am also twisted, and so are you!
That’s why we are twinning!
I think you are sharper; that’s why you can cut
me wide open with your words,
Your words are a sword, be careful!
But, I think I am sharper than you-
That’s why I understand how you use your tongue-
So, instead of feeling offended, I keep observing you!
Remember, whatever you say or do,
I don’t personalize, but I internalize them
and build a safer self-
more grounded that you can’t break or shake
even if you intend to do so!
A beautiful soul
Hey, you don’t have the prettiest face,
You are not the richest dude waiting up there,
You are not even fluent,
But do you know what you have?!
A beautiful soul to present!
You open up your heart wide open to accept
people and do good to them!
You are a beautiful soul that I’m privileged to have!
Please, preserve your soul and the beauty within it,
I’m hooked on your soul,
But, I promise I won’t suck your
beautiful soul and abuse it,
What makes a man considerate,
do you know baby boy?!
You are good because you don’t understand the evils of the world,
That, makes you special and wise.
Be the wise, Be the beautiful soul-
you’ve been always!
My darling baby boy!
I want to make infinity some love with you-
Hey, are you ready?!
I want to drink all the sadness in your eyes and make you happy,
I want to wipe all your tears and sweats,
Hug you tight- so that you could remember only a
Name that I want to tame,
Remember, you are not alone!
You won’t be!
With loving voice you ask me- will you ever leave me?!
I said a big no with confidence!
You said I am a commoner with nothing unique-
I said, you are genuine and that’s the biggest attribute
you’ve achieved!
Doubtfully with teary eyes he asked again,
Never leave me!
Don’t ever fly in other sky my white pigeon-
I said, there’s no necessity to fly-
The pigeon is happy here,
Pray that she remains happy there forever.
You know there is a philosophy behind leaving-
You leave when you are unhappy and feel incomplete.
You complete me and I don’t mind the incompleteness we have!
He sighed and shakily smiled.
My pale pigeon sighed with relief and slept well in a shiny moonlit night!
We can not deter!
We hide our strings and offer friendships,
We hide our strings and then strike,
One person at one time- is sometimes two faced,
We can not deter which side of them is real!
We hide our desires and form infatuations,
We hide our fantasies in a shell and make connections,
One person at one time- is sometimes a multitude of personalities,
We can not differ which person is speaking and whom we are going to deal!
We can not deter, who is right!
Connection
To make connection eternal-
We form partnerships,
One great love has always expanded its existence
in the constant process of destruction and rejuvenation!
One great eternal connection- that stood amongst the odds
by creating collaborative actions.
Foundation of any relationship is default trust and
collective collaboration,
It’s indeed a lifetime celebration,
But, mind floats because of separation!
In the monsoon and in the rainy monologues –
The eternal sky sketches its limitations!
Interaction
In slowing down the process, We lose interest,
In slowing down the interaction,
We help grow our evaluation,
But, It’s the mind- that’s always racing,
And, the heart- that doesn’t stop hoping,
In the battle of mind and heart-
Slows down our interaction.
There was a sun so harsh
And, a moon beneath so kind!
Both clashed in the hindsight –
They dismissed their grief-
Holding hand in hands-
They whispered-
Hey, I am your light and you are my shadow,
We complement each other, right?!
You and I are opposites,
You are rational, I am emotional,
We are complementary,
Let’s celebrate a companionship for a century,
Let’s die together and walk shoulder-in-shoulder to our cemetery!
Prolonged eye-contact is all what I demand-
so that I could see your soul deep and you could see mine!
Prolonged jovial smile is what I want to stare,
So, that your mystery is a bit loosening up for free!
Prolonged spark in your eyes is what I want to see,
So, that you can smear your all interest within me!
Rest
You know your eyes needs rest-
But, your head is in cloud nine and
you can’t deny it and instead you invest!
You know your hands need rest-
But, you have built a tiny nest
to remain safe!
You know your neck is in pain-
But, you sniffle out in disdain and
Leave it behind!
You know your nose is bleeding and
Your throat is sore,
Yet, you don’t know how to be calm and
take rest!
Writer
Price of writing for an instantaneous inherent writer-
Irritation in eyes and headaches,
Silence in your atmosphere and being in a house-arrest,
Embracing a solicited loneliness and facilitated
self-awareness preferred in solitude,
yet leaving behind all the distractions,
still remaining aloof and distracted-
Detached from everyone and everything else-
Writers resides only in their heads!
If only you could see how faltered your alter ego is,
You would allow others to purify you.
If only you could know how much It’s affecting you-
You could be corrected and mend into the process,
You could dive into the sea and delve into the mines.
If only you could fight with your inner demons,
And, listen the whispers of your souls-
You would stop fighting an inherent battle
And, calm yourself down!
Love yourself completely!
Acceptance is the road-map to happiness,
Embrace yourself- let it go!
And, love your loved ones-
those who loves you for what you are-
Nothing but the shattered faltered ego!
All my choices and preferences can be wrong but not you,
The only right thing ever I chose was you-
my baby boy, my sweetheart!
You make life cheerful and blissful!!
I loved you from the bottom of my heart-
You were my answered prayers from the divine god!”
My first love and home you are!
Fairy tales are true with some variations!”
Intimacy is not always physical, It’s most of the time mental,
Where you don’t exist physically, there you can exist mentally!
It’s your duty to convince me
and, mine to get convinced baby boy!
You are a great convincer,
Your words are matching with your actions-
You know that I am a pragmatist-
I don’t believe in mere words.
But, you are an achiever and don’t know to loose,
You can move a mountain with your soft-
raged passion,you know how to overlook!
Overlook flaws and sufferings,
Overlook gaps and loopholes!
You know how to receive my love-
With progressive days you knew-
How to be my need,
Now, you are both my necessity and eccentricity,
The way you are eccentric to me makes me
fall in love with you from head over hill!
You are so beautiful-
your soul and vision are beautiful,
I hope they are not a facade and
you are not faking it!
Be my mainstream, not optional,
Be my necessity, not recreation,
Be my adventure, not boredom,
Be my superior love, not a laggard!
Be whatever I wish, but you surprise me-
Because you are the opponent that makes
me fall in love-
In all odds and in all
oppositions I make love!
If loving unconditionally is my quality
then, what is your credit baby boy?!
You are just a kiddo following
the footsteps of it’s own
crippling shadow- Wake up!
To burn the individual,
I first burnt my expectations,
My personality, my ego and my desires,
Then, I overcame the ‘false consciousness’
within my individualization and I came to know-
That my identity was wrong,
My destination was wrong,
My preference and choices were wrong,
Because I couldn’t reach the ‘ the burning of individualization’
that I longed,
Now, after cremating myself with my ashes,
Ashes of love and desires,
Desires of hopes and ignitions,
A massive ‘annihilation’ occurred.
That’s what I call leaving the individual behind
and becoming eternal.
An eternal existence-
That’s how ‘living dead’ walks around.
Conceives and accepts everything,
But, doesn’t become a ‘part’ of anything at all.
Eligible
Some people don’t fall in love with people’s looks, bank balance or gadgets,
Some people don’t fall for their possessions or social status,
There are some people who look deep into people’s soul and
fall in love with their mind-sets!
Some people might ignore their loved ones attitudes on some heated occasion-
But, they do not forget how well or bad they behave!
It’s not how materialistic you are,
It’s your nature- that makes you eligible.
Variation
There is no ideal human being,
No ideal normalcy,
No ideal concept to define and chain people.
Variation is the beauty of human beings though.
Demons
I just want you when I need you the most,
when all the troubles are gone,
Hold me tight- for there shall be no space,
No space for breeze to flow,
Bind us all alone in a winter noon,
Waves rambling our name,
You know what I want-
Out to be there cleared from all toxins,
Let us wash in smothering surges,
You know it will kill the demons residing inside!
Brightest Love
I don’t want my happiness at the cost of your sufferings-
that’s a legendary love that exceeds-
Lives after lives,
Ages after ages,
In the monsoon and dim lights-
Yet, the brightest!
My eyes are tired-
They are thousand years old-
Shedding tears and looking into
trails of lives.
Eyes of thousand years have lived a thousand lives.
To comfort you all,
Once I hid myself-
My identity,
I didn’t want to make you feel inferior nor did
I expressed myself as superior,
But, you took my compassion as my weakness and
my charity as dumbness,
You took me as granted,
Now, I don’t compromise,
And, nor do I think twice about your feelings,
I know my height, if it pinches you then It’s your problem,
You are jealous not me and that’s a great mental issue!
I can be with you but ignore you forever-
that’s how I can stay light without being held,
I can be in a bond still free-
That’s how emancipated I am
from the system you decree.
Ignorance
Half of the solution of a problem comes from ignoring it completely, just ignore whatever is bothering you and everything will fall accordingly to It’s place itself.
Spending a lifetime with you,
Still I would say you were my disability,
I was handicapped and couldn’t move,
Even spending an entire afterlife,
I would say I never loved you,
Neither did you!
You were a necessity to me and I to you.
Meticulous calculation of patterned life-
Better to endure!
While you were growing and developing,
I was surviving,
There’s a difference bro-
You can’t understand my pain,
Not until you are on the same page!
I’ve turned the page and left the platform,
But, it is your time to stop now and reboot!
I am not going to stop untill my last breath-
Pal, I’ve found my purpose!
Flaunt your love darling,
We’ve been so cool,
Our screams are heard from mount everest,
and scratches on our bodies has drawn a new map,
Get lost in the hidden alleys,
They are calling your name-baby,
Just loose control,
Loose your sanity and
be mine in some insane moment,
Your hands over mine,
Mine over you,
We’ve slide from clays,
Playing with sands,
Rythm of your short breaths are so melodious,
Your broaden ever widening chest and It’s scent is so delicious,
Heat of your body is cozy and warm,
Oh, ferociously you devour!
I am in love with your soft bewilderment!
Flaunt your love baby,
You know how to play and raise the bar!
In the background there’ll be soft songs and in ears
I’ll listen bits of smooches,
sounds of your grunts and watch the spark in your eyes,
Flaunt your love for me baby-
Divas love to see Apollos kneeling down!
‘I know I please your eyes,
So please look deeply without a blink,
Look closely from head to toe,
I know you are thirsty.
I can feel the lust in your eyes,
Slow motion of your shaky hands,
The burn inside your cloths,
So don’t be stingy,
Don’t pretend you are shy,
A chance is always given once and today
I declare to be free in your arms.’
Formula- “Never attach but detach”.
‘The ultimate cause of human’s suffering is desire for people, people dies, people leaves, people cheats, people ditches, even you die, you leave, you cheat, you too deceit!’
Do not aspire for people, do not bond personally, do not long for people and then you are free. Free of sufferings. Just go with the flow with no deep-rooted expectations, you know now nothing lasts forever, even one day you will have to decay!
In you,
The world is built anew,
But, nobody knew,
And, my heads blew!
In you,
The world is built anew,
But, again, shared with a few!
Writers
Writers don’t sleep,
They don’t love,
They are not free,
They only know to invent and then blend!
They just creates-just like thoughts,
They are always a being in process!
Candle
Sands fleeting away from my feet-
I could not stand still and reached in a no mans land, knew no whereabouts,
Knew nothing where to go on what destination,
I had no estimation-
What to do,
Where to go,
Hence, many many a doctrines flooded my mind,
Toyed with my disproportional emotion,
Never knew the right way!
That’s the real struggle of a human being-
Not knowing the authentic destination of
moving forward,
Not knowing the purpose-
Hence, we haphazardly get stuck into something that we were not meant to bind,
A candle is strung with its sconce,
There is no way to free untill and unless it melts!
Mountain
I lost you like the bird loses its feathers,
I lost you like a skylark screams amidst the
horrible lonely nights,
I lost you, I lost you,
After losing you I lost myself!
No I can’t chase my defeated destiny,
I could not be a self-declared mutiny,
I could not get any safety,
I thought I was safe but I am not,
I thought I was sufficient for me but I am not,
My longing for love and struggle to reduce the pain
can’t suffice an entire ocean,
I feel I am drowned,
Soaked into my tears,
I lost you once and after loosing you
I could never stand strong!
Decades passed I am still trying!
I am still trying to reach the mountain where
once I used to live!
Spiritual ego
So, we have also spiritual ego,
But, again, for how long?!
You are human and you are deemed
to degrade at some points of life,
In this sacred or perhaps profane games
of divinity and dignity,
You are both a winner and a looser,
In this upgradation and degradation,
Stirs upheavals,
Poor soul-You are redeemed to suffer!
A tale of blooming flower and butterfly.
Boy,if you can be periodically alone sometimes and give me some space to do my own things,
Then, I am into you cause love happens once in a while spuriously, and if It’s continuous then it can be anything else but not love,dear, be sure of that!
Either, It’s a routine or habit or an innate need, perhaps friendship to subdue your loneliness but not passion, passion in love stays only for some times like a blooming flower!
Hello baby boy, are you my blooming flower in spring or monsoon, then, I am your butterfly,
Just remember!
Priority
If I give you attention that means you are in my priority list,
Priority matters more than necessity,
It means giving importance despite of not you being necessary!
Next age
Enjoy the moment baby,
The while you are with me holding each other tight in arms,
Who knows what happens next,
Who knows what’s in the lot in the next age!
A beautiful soul
Hey, you don’t have the prettiest face,
You are not the richest dude waiting up there,
You are not even fluent,
But, do you know what you have?!
A beautiful soul to present!
You open up your heart wide open to accept
people and do good to them!
You are a beautiful soul that I’m privileged to have!
Please, preserve your soul and the beauty within it,
I’m hooked with your soul,
But, I promise I won’t suck your beautiful soul
and abuse it,
What makes a man considerate do you know baby boy?!
You are good because you don’t understand the evils of the world,
But, another dark person knows all the shit but still believes
in doing good and continues doing good to each and every soul,
That, makes him special and wise.
Be the wise, Be the beautiful soul- you’ve been always!
My darling baby boy!
We can not deter!
We hide our strings and offer friendships,
We hide our strings and then strike,
One person at one time- is sometimes two faced,
We can not deter which side of them is real!
We hide our desires and form infatuations,
We hide our fantasies in a shell and make connections,
One person at one time- is sometimes multitude of personalities,
We can not differ which person is speaking and whom we are going to deal!
We can not deter, who is right!
To make connection eternal-
We form partnerships,
One great love has always expanded its existence
in the constant process of destruction and rejuvenation!
One great eternal connection- that stood amongst the odds by creating collaborative actions.
Foundation of any relationship is default trust and
collective collaboration,
It’s indeed a lifetime celebration,
But, mind floats because of separation!
In the monsoon and in the rainy monologues –
The eternal sky sketches its limitations!
Interaction
In slowing down the process,
We loose interest,
In slowing down the interaction,
We help grow our evaluation,
But, Its the mind- that’s always racing,
And, the heart- that doesn’t stop hoping,
In the battle of mind and heart-
Slows down our interaction”.
Rest
You know your eyes needs rest-
But, your head is in cloud nine and
you can’t deny it and instead you invest!
You know your hands need rest-
But, you have built a tiny nest
to remain safe!
You know your neck is in pain-
But, you sniffle out in disdain and
Leave it behind!
You know your nose is bleeding and
Your throat is sore,
Yet, you don’t know how to be calm and
take rest!
Alter ego
If only you could see how faltered your alter ego is,
You would allow others to purify you.
If only you could know how much Its affecting you-
You could be corrected and mend into the process,
Dive into the sea and delve into the mines.
If only you could fight with your inner demons,
And, listen the whispers of your souls-
You would stop fighting an inherent battle
And, calm yourself down!
Love yourself completely!
Acceptance is the road map to happiness,
Embrace yourself- let it go!
And, love your loved ones-
those who love you for what you are -the shattered faltered ego!
Oh, Baby boy- you are like a child to me,
so childish and silly,
You know how to make me smile-
You seem to know nothing,
You pretend like a kiddo in front of me
begging for starters-
In your presence, I feel like a ‘Demi God’,
You sooth my compassion for you-
So tender and soft you are,
But, again I know you are a bewildered wolf,
You hide your aggression and become a ‘passive aggressor’ just to seek my love,
I know- you hide your toughness inside your soft outlook to get my
soft-side, you are a rare wolf!
Hard like rock when in aggression,
Soft like silk when in infatuation,
I know you possess a shade of colors and
Present some of those only to comfort me-
To get my love- you are a wild wolf!
A man has fifty phases and a hundred faces,
Depending on the woman he chose,
Shows the true colors if only he admires,
Represents only a partial portion of his deep
prospects if only a wild wolf decides to become a baby boy for his girl,
Hey, you!
Wanna be my baby boy?!
You are possessed and I know you
Love me the most!
I don’t want my happiness at the cost of your sufferings-
that’s a legendary love that exceeds-
Lives after lives,
Ages after ages,
In the monsoon and dim lights-
Yet, the brightest!
Sands fleeting away from my feet-
I could not stand still and reached into a no-man’s land, knew no whereabouts,
Knew nothing where to go or what destination,
I had no estimation-
What to do,
Where to go,
Hence, many a doctrine flooded my mind,
Toyed with my disproportional emotion,
Never knew the right way!
That’s the real struggle of a human being-
Not knowing the authentic destination of
moving forward,
Not knowing the purpose-
Hence, we haphazardly get stuck into something that we were not meant to bind,
A candle is strung with its sconce,
There is no way to free untill and unless it melts!
So, we have also spiritual ego,
But, again, for how long?!
You are human and you are deemed
to degrade at some points of life,
In this sacred or perhaps profane games
of divinity and dignity,
You are both a winner and a looser,
In this upgradation and degradation,
Stirs upheavals,
Poor soul-You are redeemed to suffer!
A loss is a loss forever,
You can not achieve again what you have lost- Precious!
Weep more, Weep more,
You will not get what you have lost!!
Wept away with all sorrows-there stays a sand dune or stack, stand there with hope, stay tuned,
Still you won’t get to hear the voice!
Loss!!
Stand therefore, you can not see those eyes,
Stand there with hopes,
Still you don’t see sunrise,
Loss!!
Weep more! Coasts after coasts are awash with your sad tears, stand still, you attempt to dive but you ain’t still drowning instead you keep moving!
Loss!
Weep more, with every tear drops you are reminded- a loss is a loss forever, stand still with no hope,
There is none!
Dear Adeline, you know when you are in your depth of pain?!
When you are so exhausted but you can’t sleep!
You are in the pit of disgust and surrender into disdain, when your pillows are splashed into tears from veins!
You know you are in pain and you can do nothing about it!
Overdose of caffeine keeps you inclined but It’s damn memory lane, that keeps you awake.
Hollowed doubts persisted despite fixing the process, your life-world is full of disguise,
Poor Adeline!!
The equation of you and I is ‘depersonalized ‘,
The boundary between us is ‘humanized’,
The nexus between us is ‘traumatized’,
Amidst the ‘actualization’, you and I grew more further away being ‘individualized’!
Dear “D”,
Why did you lose all your hopes?!
Why did you lose hope upon me?!
You shouldn’t have given up your hopes on me!
See, I was left as the remaining to re-live your hopes!
You should’ve seen!
How, I am restarting the journey that you left behind!
Alas! What is individuals life but a walking shadow of others!
May be some other poet said it before me!
I had to be always on a run in fast pace-
because no one ever stopped for me.
People moving in and out,
People moving here and there,
People going in and out,
People coming and getting lost!
Nobody seemed to think for me,
Think for my best and let me think while I was in arrest!
Nobody stoped for me, slowed their pace,
None had ever given me a space in their cascade!
People frowning then and now,
People doubting and interrogating,
Blaming and gaslighting,
Victimizing and preying every now and then,
Nobody thought of my timing,
That I was too young to witness all the shit I barely beared to go through all of it!
Nobody cared for what I might think and what affect would fall upon me!
They only cared for themselves!
So, now I have been always running….
Running in a fast pace that none can ever catch me!
I am running far from my hurtful past,
I am running from the surrounding and the transgression,
Sometimes I surpass myself,
Sometimes I forget myself,
Sometimes I overcome and overlook myself,
Sometimes I ignore my needs and dispositions,
Because, I never knew what I needed most in the first place!
Poor me, I always thought that I needed unconditional love but that’s always unrequited,
Poor me, I always thought that I needed ‘pure humanitarians’ but that’s even more rare and a lame showcase!
What I needed most was always there- in front of me colliding and collaborating my name to be awakened!
It was and it is ‘Self-esteem’ the most worthy,
Believe in yourself- otherwise no one is going to believe you anyways!
The world is full of negations and mistrust,
You need to build trust within yourself!
It’s always you trying hard to keep me happy,
It’s always you bringing smile in my face,
But, all your efforts goes astray, vanishes in vain,
All your love gets succumbed into my pains that were gathered by evils,
I can not undone the past and the amassed pain they’ve put on me,
I can not remove the scars that deeply infected me,
My torn soul though not rotten like them cries for ‘apocalypse’,
It wants to see the end, end of its suffering and collapse!
But, it fails.
It fails because of the very essences Its connected with,
See I can understand that you can not disconnect.
Disconnect from what you have been and what you are now.
You can share your memory but you can not erase it, you can share your space but you can not share your existence, you can choose better timings but you can not rewind the bad times spent!
Anyways, you can not truly enjoy because you are immersed and always repent!
How can I feel the essence of ‘Pure being’ when I always had ‘mixed feelings’,
How can I be a complete human when I am a ‘mixture of all mixed beliefs’.
If ‘mixing’ is the essence of being existential,
Then, I guess, I am the ‘undeniable truth’ scattered and shattered waiting to be shoveled by a ‘whisk’,
And, no doubt, It’s another broken man assigned to assemble me, what a great appointment ‘Supreme’ has made for ‘brisk’ human beings-who always finds hope when put in ‘risk’,
Finds a way finally and regains to walk anyhow even if they crawl and stumbles all the way to make sure they keep walking -walking towards their destiny–the final destination for the sake of attestation!
Indeed, It’s a great appointment with the ‘God’ of ‘Gods’!
Come on, He is enjoying!
Believe that, believe you are beautiful in all your scars and marks, believe you have been beautiful in all of the way around…because,
No matter what growth is beautiful….Growth is beautiful with all its sway and distortions and variations…. Growth is beautiful—It makes you a champ!
Growth is beautiful because once you were a looser for situations and you had no choice,
Losers can’t be choosers but now you have a choice—a choice to redeem, a choice of redemption and a choice of rejoice by reconnecting your integrated self!
The broken pieces of self is what required to amend!
Believe me, you are still there!
See,Baby, I can’t have you in this dystopic world,
Monsters are going to eat you,
Cut you into pieces and devour you,
They bite you and tear you and throw you in trashes,
You’ll be left all alone like a left-over loafer!
You can’t survive here,
Because, you’ll be all alone, all by yourself,
Your mama would be so busy building a nest for you and your papa would be busy into crippling those straws you know!
Or, may be, your mama would be so lost in her own thoughts that she forgets to feed you and your papa would be so busy into burning his ass to find food for you,
But, he doesn’t have time to see that you are hungry, all this time, you’ve never been looked upon with grace!
You and your papa are neglected-because of a narcissist woman!
Or, may be you and your mama are exploited- everyday your hopes are killed-because of an irresponsible man!!
Baby,perhaps you may have siblings both older and younger!
The older ones would eat your share and leave you alone in those starry nights into the woods to those wolves,
The younger ones would eat your head and make you cry instead- you had no time for yourself!
See, baby, I don’t want to give you this sick life,
You don’t deserve all these!
I want to treat you better!
I don’t want to be a ‘Narcissist’
But, I can’t treat you better if I am not in a better world in a better position with all integrity of thoughts and modest peoples!
I am sorry my darling, I can’t give you consciously an uneven unjustified life that I can’t handle!
You are not into this world yet,
You never had been,
You are unborn but I’ve given you birth in my mind
and our imaginary conversation continues,
As I start exploring your small toes,
Tiny tingling fingers and rosy lips,
I would name you ‘Snow-white’,
You would be my champ,
my companion in all lonely times!
Baby, you are not here,
You never had been,
I never gave you birth but my motherhood is screaming for you- I want to hold you in my arms,
I want to grow old with you seeing you glowing young!
Baby, with you I want to enter into my lost childhood, teens and youth,
I want to play baseball that I couldn’t play in that time,
I want to climb trees and make lots of friends that I never could make!
Baby, I want to hear your unheard thoughts and wonders and solve all your problems,
Even, if you don’t manage a single friend,
I would like to be your friend and play with you all day long!
Baby, I want to be both your ‘Super-mom’ and ‘Comfort-zone’,
See, Mama is busy making a world worth living for,
Mama is trying hard to gather all the straws to build a nest for you!
I just want to protect you from the evils of the world and evils of the minds,
I also want to protect you from the evils of us and evils of mine!
I just want to give you a better world, better space and a better life- may be it is an unrequited utopia,
May be the world is never going to be okay,
But, still baby, I want to protect you,
Hide you,
Shelter you,
Keep you safe in my arms,
I just want to give you immense joy and boundless love-that I never had!
I am preparing myself for you my love!
I am preparing myself to hold you tight!
I’ll never leave you just like others left me,
Mama’s gonna protect you from all the evils she has beared!”
Claim
Once I forgot who I was, because,
my identity was kept hidden,
Once, I forgot what I deserved because
my mind was infused with deep fears and doubts unbounded.
Once, I forgot myself, because,
The evils imposed their thoughts and deeds on my mind set.
I settled down for less as I hoped less.
Now, it is high time, that I claim,
I claim for the best that I saved from the rest!
I claim me from them myself-that was lost for their discouraging arguments!
I claim my destiny,
I claim my peace,
I claim my identity,
I claim my space!
I always keep you in front of my eyes, so that I don’t forget, who I am, Who I was and Who I want to be!
I always keep you close to me to check my goals,
I never forgot who’d I like to be”.
I’ll make a family with the ‘ghost’ of yours!
It’s just you and me,
Nobody else!
I’ll redeem the abandoned fears,
Fears of loosing you over and over again!
Hey! How can you leave me alone when I am all bounded with your memories and riddled with the monologues associated with you in your discernible absence?!
You are here within me, I’ve absolved you and became a ‘Ghost’ of yours!
I have been chasing you since you are gone!
Adeline once said,
“Whole my life up to till this time,
I’ve been looked as a ‘standard’ that people could compare!
I’ve been ‘objectified’ and ‘classified’ in the mode of competition.
I’ve been ‘labeled’ and ‘admired’ not as a ‘comfort’ or a ‘confidante’
but as a character who shall be defied and overcome to!
I’ve been a standard for people to be like me, but they did not appreciate me.
‘I was never loved unconditionally,
I was never followed with good intentionality,
I was never adored for who I am because they feared confronting me,
I was never admired as they don’t want to comprehend me,
Because if they do so, they are going to face themselves very closely,
They are going to taste their own ‘essences’,
Adeline said with regret, Nobody has ever loved me; all they’ve wanted to do is negate me!
I’ve been so lonely!!
Oh, dear Adeline, ‘ Here is your prize- A filtered soul without any heresy,
loneliness is your reward in a soul-awakening, enlightened journey.’
Commodity
Humans- a commodity now.
You can dispose them like a plastic wrapper once you are satisfied off!
Humans- a commodity now.
You carry them like a bag pack-a baggage only
to stuff them with your necessities and wants.
Humans- a commodity now.
You need them to expand your network- they are like cellphones,
you just connect with them when you need them– they are your checklist now.
Humans- a commodity now.
Skills and endeavors are all a function of ‘objectification’,
You earn them to get profitable, not in the dire desire of ignition.
Humans- a commodity now.
You don’t want to recognize ‘passion’ though you need a supreme ‘recognition’.
Humans- a commodity now.
You, me, them and us are all a verified collection of
‘commodification’ in the retrospective of ‘reification’!
We are a reified being now.
Dried- Parnassia.
“Dear Adeline, these awake nights rushed by adrenaline are making you quite uncertain,
Black coffee can promise you consciousness but not conscience!
Dear Adeline, you are living a hyper-real life amidst hyperactivity,
where you see your ‘self-image’ fragmented
into many dividends lost in the crowd of false images–
you become a ‘dried- parnassia’ in the non-living space!”
Even, your closest people in the pack would like to see your fall and crash you down,
They would wish for you to be broke, crook and all alone,
They would like to see you in the multitude of pain-mutilated, drained and lost,
They would hope for your failure in the disguise of a feign smile-they will internally badmouth you-wants to see you suffer!
Even, the closest people you choose to stay close,
To love them unconditionally and give them all what you have, they would like to empty you, snatch everything you desire; that would make them feeling strong and superior above you!
There is no simulacrum of our love,
No simulation, no copy, no imitations!
There are no representations of any other love like ours;
we had been on a roller coaster ride!
Do you remember the very first day we met?!
I bet, you can’t forget the very first kiss we had!
The lip lock-locked our souls forever,
I won’t say the cliche line–you are mine,
I am yours for eternal!
I would like to say, be like my first summer kiss,
Heroic and wonderful — of course,
I admit-you were splendid!
Love in the time of late modernity/
Love in the society of reflexive capitalism…!!
In any relationship-
Never be a proletariat, you will lose access,
Never be a revolutionary, you will lose all what you have,
Never be a capitalist, you are going to have everything but still you’ll be an offender and a looser,
Now, decide who’s the victim here!!”
“Tell me dear Adeline, how is the fusion of Love and anarchy? or can we say love in the time of anarchy?!
Or may be, we might say anarchy in love is- a complete dissolution of everything.
It’s just that you are too toxic that I can’t stay with you, but I loved you and these are the signs of my imperishable love for you that’s so undeniable and unsolicited,
But, you couldn’t understand the cathexis of love—its not always receiving but also giving….
‘The narcissistic you could not deter between self-love and love for others, between the love-object and the ego-object!
Now, to love myself I have to stay away from your influences,
from your clutches, so toxic you are, so toxic you have always been!”
Intimacy
“Intimacy is not always physical, it’s most of the time mental,
Where you don’t exist physically, there you can exist mentally!”
You can not snatch everything I’ve built after renovation from the remains,
You can not always win, fooling me, because my foolishness made me wise-
that’s now become my strength!
You can not always make me feel desperate and throw me in despair, because,
in your ignorance and avoidance, I learnt to love myself best!
You can not always corner me-because I’ve been always in the edge!
I know how to overcome all the hurdles that you try to put on my way,
because I’ve never been used to walking on a smooth pathway,
It has been always rocky, slippery and stony,
Some extra thorns and pebbles won’t make it any
harder- don’t you think you’re a winner in all case!
You have always unloved me,
Always tried to snatch away my happiness and tried to get everyone else to unlove me because you were afraid,
Afraid of my shining bright but that didn’t cut my wings but left me with some unhealed scars and bruises—But, hey,
It’s fading now cause finally I’ve regained my life and love, I am not alike you, I know how to love and make sacrifices.
Claim
Once I forgot who I was, because,
my identity was kept hidden,
Once, I forgot what I deserved because
my mind was infused with deep fears and doubts unbounded.
Once, I forgot myself, because,
The evils imposed their thoughts and deeds on my mindset.
I settled down for less as I hoped less.
Now, it is high time, that I claim,
I claim for the best that I saved from the rest!
I claim me from them myself-that was lost
for their discouraging arguments!
I claim my destiny,
I claim my peace,
I claim my identity,
I claim my space!”
Goal
I always keep you in front of my eyes, so that I don’t forget, who I am,
Who I was and Who I want to be!
I always keep you close to me to check my goals,
I never forgot who’d I like to be”.
Ghost
I’ll make a family with the ‘ghost’ of yours!
It’s just you and me,
Nobody else!
I’ll redeem the abandoned fears,
Fears of losing you over and over again!
Hey! How can you leave me alone when
I am all bound with your memories and
riddled with the monologues associated with you
in your discernible absence?! “
You are here within me,
I’ve absolved you and become a ‘Ghost’ of yours!
I have been chasing you since you were gone!
A lonesome journey
Adeline once said,
Whole my life up to till this time,
I’ve been looked as a ‘standard’ that people could compare!
I’ve been ‘objectified’ and ‘classified’ in the mode of competition.
I’ve been ‘labeled’ and ‘admired’ not as a ‘comfort’ or a ‘confidante’ but as a character who shall be defied and overcome to!
I’ve been a standard for people to be like me but they did not appraise me.
‘I was never loved unconditionally,
I was never followed with good intentionality,
I was never adored for what I am because they feared to confront me,
I was never admired as they don’t want to comprehend me,
Because, if they do so, they are going to face themselves very closely,
They are going to taste their own ‘essences’,
Adeline said with regrets, Nobody has ever loved me, all they’ve wanted to negate me!
I’ve been so lonely!!
Oh, dear Adeline, ‘ Here is your prize- A filtered soul without any heresy, loneliness is your reward in a soul-awakening enlightened journey.’
Humans- a commodity now.
You can dispose them like a plastic wrapper once you are satisfied off!
Humans- a commodity now.
You carry them like a bag pack-a baggage only
to stuff them with your necessities and wants.
Humans- a commodity now.
You need them to expand your network- they are like cellphones, you just connect with them when you need them– they are your checklist now.
Humans- a commodity now.
Skills and endeavors are all a function of ‘objectification’,
You earn them to get profitable, not in the dire desire of ignition.
Humans- a commodity now.
You don’t want to recognize ‘passion’ though you need a supreme ‘recognition’.
Humans- a commodity now.
You, me, them and us are all a verified collection of
‘commodification’ in the retrospective of ‘reification’!
We are a reified being now.
I have known the history,
I have seen the present and
I can predict the future by relating these consequences, what is it called then, Adeline?!
-Historical materialism!
Ugh, much convincing!
What is the motivation behind doing the same thing again and again, later feeling guilt?!
-Well, it seems that, you are determined to make mistakes and fall out, you chase the chill!
Chill of adrenaline? Come on, Adeline!
-Why to feel all burnt out, feeling empty just to satisfy some urges to push over the surges and hopelessly returning into the patterns, oh it looks like, Cyclic!
-You will repeat it until you are undone! Once you are engulfed with guilt, you can leave it behind but hey, don’t be so confident, you will re-enter in the pattern, It’s damn-cyclic– you will always know somehow to mimic!
Farewell
In the farewell, during a shady moonlit night,
In the corner of a jasmine garden,
Once I asked my forgotten lover,
-Hey, what do you like?!
Well, I like many things such as this begotten night,
But, most importantly I like your confidence moulded in perplexity,
I like all of your complex!
But, then, why had you left me all by my own?!
-Because, I am not prepared for a perpetual
puzzle to lighten up an ephemeral ignite!”
Space
Well, Why are you not available?!”
-Because, I need space and time to think, and,
bet! It’s more scarce than people! What else people anyways do?!
-Looking for other people’s fault and be a critique as if they are all holy and whole!
Superficial
So, superficial you are outwardly,
Inwardly, you are more damn superficial!
But, I got fixated with your superficiality,
How, to remove all the obscure barrier?!
Denial of feelings, what we call?!
Nihilism/Alienation/Thanatos -tell me dear,
what we call!
– Nothing. No one is void of feelings,
you have them too!
You are just too occupied to deny them; that’s what it seems like.
The need inside me are dead,
The desires inside me are also dead!
I’ve dealt with death- many many times in a lifetime!
-Hey, but, you are alive!
Talking about Symbolic deaths each at a time!
All are ashes now. I blew fumes in mere divergence.
Mystery
What are you?! I don’t understand you!
-No need to understand.
Cause, you won’t get through it!
– Oh, really?!
– I am a blend of stoic with reality.
I am a mystique with unbounded pleasures
and an ascetic amidst the luxuries.
Now, define me, what I am!
Possessiveness
Possessive people try to keep things hard that they do not belong to or deserve.
It is because, they know, they can’t have them but they are in dire need of possessing,
which makes them possessive- To posses what they are not worthy of!
Orphan
Do you need love?!
No man, I am an orphan.
Do you need money?!
No dude, I am an orphan.
Do you need status and recognition?
No Sir, I am an orphan.
Don’t you need stability in life?!
No sis, I am an orphan.
Hey, come on, you don’t want power?!
No bro, I am an orphan.
-But, you do have all of these!
Why do you then possess them?!
Why don’t you throw away?!”
– I have because I don’t need them.
I don’t need all of these now,
because I didn’t have them when
I needed them most back then.
And, I can’t push them away cause
they can’t get away from me!
I am just playing a ‘Role’ and carrying away!
– Oh, I see, You are a complete man!
-No, you are wrong!
I am an incomplete man in all complete ways, so you are.
We are all incomplete somehow in some ways, However, life goes on!
Acceptance
Accept yourself,
it takes courage to accept what you are,
by accepting yourself wholly,
one can get immense confidence and valour in oneself!
Protection
I couldn’t protect you,
But, now I am protecting your name!
Higher Unity
What you can’t get anyway,
you replace it with some other thing-
higher unities-that also takes you higher!
Higher from the need to get that particular interesting object!
That’s called resolution or objective; easily to define.
Anticipation
When I see your valiant presence, something omnipotent happens!
Then I imagine our unforeseen conversation,
You and I are entangled!
But, your presence is what is absent or had never existed-
Ruins the perfect scenario of a lovemaking
Unrequited love is what makes you so special!
Longings deceive us because we lose attraction
when something is at proximal appropriation.
But, remember dear,
love is at Its best when in anticipation,
Fantasy
Maybe you don’t think of me as much as I do,
Maybe I am not in your sync, not into your antenna,
I am out of your sight and out of your reach,
Sighs the inner me!
Cause, nothing would happen between us as anticipated!
I would never express my infatuation for you as in my thoughts,
In the imaginary another world I’ve hold your hand
looked into your eyes and blushed in those fiery gazes!
When finally you approached me to kiss my lips-
I looked away in the sand and
started to count the waves,
But, times retrogrades,
I came back to the present from the super-fast pacing universe,
I see myself bounded into chains!
How can I belong to you when I don’t belong to myself?!
My fantasy to hold you tight never fulfils,
I wonder in folklore to have you kissed.
The imagined unrequited love that we have,
may be because of those fantasies we are connected somewhere –
who knows may be in sublime!
Or, who knows may be in constellations and satellites!
May be in our head,
telepathically involving us into unseen romance!
No, my unrequited love,
I’ve never seen or heard you,
But, now, I can feel you, your very essence!
Is it because I want it to feel like this way?!
Or, maybe I am the only one to conspire all these
and engage thoughts in the winds of craze!
Who knows! It’s me, a part of me longing you-
obeying the part of me that is still aim-inhibited,
bans me of this feeling!
We never existed in the same space;
I can not proceed you nor can I ever have you!
Unrequited Love
Insomniac because of the remnants of past experiences,
Insomniac because of the lost words never spoken and lost gestures never shown!
Insomniac in the craze of unrequited love that never existed, so many sleepless nights just to justify-exist amidst the chaos of the life!
A poet’s confession
All my poems are paradoxical!
Pessimistic at the same time;
inventing and soothing on the other hand!
Well, perplexity of my writing; I know that!
This is my style and sense of humour,
bet, one can’t beat it in mere criticism
without any grounded knowledge or
a huge depth of understanding and mesmerizing
emotional comprehension!
I read more thoroughly hence I can write more lively!
I am my best critique!
And, a vivid reader!
That’s the point!
Everyday I’ve to live without you,
Everyday I’ve to deal with the fact that you are not with me,
your absence haunts me!
No,I can’t scream,
I can’t cry loud,
People will see ‘the weak’, ‘the bleak’ and ‘the blunt’ me.
I could not paint me weak; but, now I want to!
I want the world to know that living without you is the toughest war
I’ve to deal every single day, every step, every breath.
I want the world to know that I’ve not forgotten you,
You are a part of me,
you dwell inside of me,
I want to show that I could not live a happy life without you.
Void of you, deprived me from all the joyfulness of life!
Cartographers
Cartographers of their own destiny,
They carved their own shape,
Cremated a semi grave, either to hop out or
lie down forever in the leftover grains!
People see what they want to see,
People wants what they appear to see!
Comprehension is what makes a diamond wealth
otherwise what is it, nothing but a shiny object!
Artist
All the artists there, Do not hide yourself,
We will have to stick in the digital circumference,
We’ll have to sustain in this digital culture and win the battle,
not falling behind.
Shrine
I will have to let my intellectual property go public from personified
to break the barrier of thousands of years!
You are welcomed in my shrine!
Said the hundred year old lady sage!
She smiled and poured him her nectars of knowledge
in a soup bowl, he drank it all!
He was so thirsty,
She was so pleased!
A divine platonic bond they had!
From then, the enlighten wanderer seeks refuge there!
Staying connected with powerful people empowers you,
but, at the same time, you get swallowed by them too!
The power you get by exploitation and accumulation,
I give you all!
The power you get, you get it by controlling me,
my actions,
So, be grateful!
The power you have, you owe me for all!
The post, the position,
The honor, you get it through me,
For my submission!
For my desublimation!
The strength you get is from my weaknesses and loss of self-consciousness!
The power you get by holding me as peonage!
So, be grateful!
I make you for what you are,
for where you stand now!
Bow to me!
I am the creator!
A story of loyalty
I am loyal to you for decades and those sincerities can’t be put on facades.
I’ve been with you in all thick and thins,
I’ve wandered with you in those dreadful rocky mountains
and slippery expedients!
So, that was my part of story.
But, I forgot, You have a version of your own part in the storyline too!
Once in a chitchat with your so called friends actually aka foes in a lavish dine,
I overheard you saying,
“Ugh, she’s a loyal bitch! Forever, barking but not biting,
A docile creature that only circulates around it’s master,
she is just a circle, I am the center of it!”
Really?!
It seems so! Here I want to rewrite the story and there’s a plot twist,
“If you think me a loyal dog, I will bite you if you are caught off security,
But, if you think me a loyal baby tigress,
I will rip you apart before you even start crawling!”
Moral of the story is,” Never, doubt my loyalty and never ever look down to it,
Don’t take my grudges for granted, I make every penny count, don’t forget it!
Selection
Some people are so damaged that they fear to bond with people. Don’t go there, It’s dark inside. You will be wrecked too! Damaged people attracts damaged ones and gets more damaged.
Very selectively we choose a selective people to tell parts of our selected stories of life, here, we create our own story, our own discourses part by part. So it is impossible to know a person completely , cause you can only sense a part of her/him not the whole!That’s why, there is many a different versions you can hear about one.And, this process goes for infinity until the day humanity is doomed!
Dark
Do not let me fall into the pits of nihilism,
I swear, I won’t let you find me there.
Dark can not remove darkness,
Too much light makes things blurry!
Pain
Once, you are habituated to pain and have a good understanding with it, then, You are no longer chained up or a slave to it, you get addicted to it. Comprehension of pain and addiction to it makes you strong and wise. Enjoy being in pain. Power lies in pain not in satisfaction. May be satisfaction lies in overcoming pain, who knows! Nothing is certain anyways!
You know what you’ve ruined?!
The ‘Perfect image of happiness’,
I see there is none, it is a perfect imagination,
no ounce of truth in it!”
Whole my life up to this date,
I’ve lived in the ‘Sublime’,
You know what is sublime my dear?!
It is the conjunction of two opposed feelings,
Love and rage,
Fallacy and agony,
Passion and harmony,
Ability and disability,
Fear and Fury,
Runs inside my head.
Collides in the clash.
It’s all Inside.
They will say, do not use your brains, do what we say,
And, they will also say that if you do by your own,
You are doomed, there is no recognition,
I said, Okay, I choose the path of Salvation!
I devote myself to me and there can not be any more assumption!
The mighty sailor says, there is no direction and here after,
Hence no predictions!
Genuine Self
Those who don’t know you closely
will always speculate things behind you.
Be careless, be yourself; that’s why they resent you!
I can not stay away from you my friend, my foe and my lover,
Because now I have become “You” or more to it,
There is I guess no difference or no other signifier to relate!
Detached lover
I may be a detached lover,
Be prudent, but I am not a cheater!
I may be a lonely seeker but not an irresponsible jerk!
I may not know how to love properly but there is no hole in my devotion!
I may live alone but I do not know how to move forward!
There is no cure, no prevention!
There can be only resolutions but no solutions!
Alas! Those who were destined to live alone, likes living alone!
They don’t bond!
I want to feel nature like I am the breeze flowing
above the hills and labyrinth violet skies!
I want to feel the part of you as if I am one of your
parts prolonged and protracted!
The reason I breathe is you,
I can feel the gentle breeze because of you.
You are an open grassy field,
I lie down like a grass finch,
I want to feel nature like I am the waves
curving the sea up and down in symmetry,
I want to blow you into the winds and waves of the sea,
Can you hear the sound of the beach?
They are mingling with each other one after another just like us-
Like we have kissed like never before!
Ah, the combination of breeze and waves is a fiery one
Can you imagine?!
Words are imaginations,
Imaginations are ideas formed,
Ideas are thoughts-realization of the higher self!
I can love you is also a part of me undiscovered!
Now I know the reason!
Nothing is beyond reason!
You are my burning hope and the face in which
I want to see the curves of smiles and dimples,
They are the lightening pearls when you laugh,
I want to be that uttermost happiness in you!
You are my big nature!
I hustle and discover,
It grinded me and depleted into three parts
-mind,body and soul!
What is a mind without a soul?
What is the body without a mind?
And what is life without awareness of both?
I want to be your nature just like you are mine!
Reciprocity and duality of the universe let it flow but
not make us apart,let nature bring us closer!
I see you like a deep pit,
Never could I reach and
you see me like a mystery
Always undisclosed!
Discovery or invention,
whatever it is-I feel as if it is the only sensational truth!
I breath for you because you are the reason I am so
alive, awakened and true!
Competition
My competition is not with you, dumb,
My competition was always with me,
My inner self and outer representations,
What I think and what I appear to do,
I count on every bits and second!
My competition is not with you fool,
You should not make a hustle to hurt me and yourself!
All you will get is a two way directions!
You may rise but not satisfied,
You may think you won but not justified,
You just want to see me cry but I am not a crybaby,
I forgot to shed tears in front of ohers long ago
But still, I was fragile towards you ,humble and disarmed
So that you can harm me,
So that you can take advantage of me,
So that you can hurt me with your words and angry gazes and actions,
I gathered all the criticisms but instead of blaming I focused on,
what I lack you to think me asa competitor in lieu of thinking of
a friend or a comfort?
I did not do any harm to you,
I was just true to myself,
I spoke the raw truth,
Also, I did not think of shitty consequences instead ,
I worked on what I admire and am passionate about,
Oh!I was so busy in doing what I prefer to do
and not think about the emotional pieces of baggage
later I have to carry on and that was loaded with all
hatred ,anger and jeolousy,
Oh,I did not do anything wrong!
Instead of being other, I became myself for,
And instead of promulgating common thoughts and
similarities of poor talks,
I communicated with the soul!
If being oneself is a crime,
Then I am the sinner!
If trying to know causality and self is a sin,
Then, pardon me, I am a bloody sufferer!
If pursuing passion is a crime,
Then, punish me I am the selfish crack!
If knowing oneself and uplifting into a higher state
Is a path of deviance in your eyes,
Then, shit I am the bloody deviant you should be charging on!
If learning and relearning seems a threat to you and
You go on spreading hatred,
The, I will be the person always enlightened,
Preaching peace and comfort.
I want to touch you like you are a moving force
and I can not hold you,
I want to touch you like you are a magnificent magnitude of a magnet,
Oh,I want to love you because you release me from
sufferings and deliverance of pains,
You are my Magna Carta,
You are my expedition,
I want to display myself in front of you like a glory
Or like a form of wax in the museum and
incarnate in the era of incarnation!
This is not the period for you to be mine!
All believes in puny disillusionment!
If I became yours it will turn out to be a torture and punishment!
No I do not want any resentments,
Hence I will distance myself from you and self,
Disowning you is like rejecting my truer self,
Lust and love and devotion and seduction-what is not present!
Fury of lust, shall bring us closer,
But again, egocentric omnipotencee despairs
us for its real reasons!
Love shall not be veiled oh I love you so much
and want you nearer,so far you are,
so cold and distant and obscure you are!
You are a tough rock to crack!
But you know what I love is to ride on mountains!
You are a wondrous gift from God that I seek from!
You are the reason my devotion and gratitude is in God!
What an uprising moment when you look at me!
I get pierced through your eyes,
I want to preserve your looks for me into a mirror
so that I can see it everytime instead of seeing me!
I want to run and jump and collide into you,
You pick me!
I want to be grinded by you and your bite on my skin,
Please do some gestures on me!
Why are you so silent!?
Don’t you know your silence makes you lose?
Try once, and I am yours forever!
Try once, and you’ll see I am located beside you!
Try once and you’ll see I am within you ,
always in you,in your thoughts may be or not,oh such an uncertainty!
Look at me!
I am your primitive desires!
I demand clarity as I demand for objects but you are so precious to me,
I won’t or intend to objectify you!
When I don’t see I can’t stop thinking about you,
It makes me sick and insane,mundane and endless thoughts of no reality,
you are just an illusion but why do you capture so much of my attention?
Perhaps you are the one I want to be like,
You are one lightening me and perhaps someday you made me laugh,
I miss those days!
Perhaps,actually the fact is you and me are never meant to be together!
Just like ages and stages of lives,we are different,
you are apathetic on something new!
And I fear to enter into my vulnerability
Into my fearless echelons,
To get you I won’t fear fate,universe and world,
If I ever have you I won’t answer to the questions of God and men of God’s,
Try me once I am so much into you,
Every action of me resonates and evolves around you,
Every desires I hide speaks about you,
You are in my head,
You are in my heart,
My damn obsession ,I am obsessed by the thoughts of you!
Perhaps,it is better that you be my obsession not posession,
we do not get what we aspire for or may be we do get but we just do not try all the way,
Though I want to –
you don’t know about my extremisms,
But again I am bound to fears of rejections and societal orientations,
No I am not free to love you!
This thought is sordid,this begets mishape,
If loving and wanting someone is an ordeal
I am the failure!
If loving you is a disaster,I am disastrous,
If loving you is a storm then I am doomed into ruins
of paradise and utterence of wicked repressed
desires that shall be burnt into hades!
I have rided inferno for you,
I have burnt myself and left myself open for flies
and worms to rip my fleshes because of you!!
Love or despair me but you can not ignore
the upsurge I bring forth into life!
I am a calamity,I am riverine serenity,
You choose which side you want to get of mine!
Choice is a course of action,
Choice is what you think and thoughts are the
forms you get transcended from your past experiences,
imagination for future shaping present,
You make a choice as you decide,
You make a choice rather-I’ll be your present or future!
But before leaping into the future, please make sure to make your present,
Because my thoughts and actions differ
of yours hence so of presence,
You delay,you lose me,
You hustle you won’t get enough of me!
Decide-what you want,
Decision shapes events,
The decision is yours!
Chastity of creation
I do not get what I want because
there is a big picture awaiting aftermath this or
in front that is too obscure or distant,
that I rarely could figure out,
Till Figuring this out I make the picture real,
I do not get easily what I want because
what I want is a crux of difficulty and multiplicity,
Otherwise, if I had found it I would lose all the creations,
and stop the pace, the run of healing and creating,
Creating and thinking,
Thinking and working,
Working and making,
Making and holding it into my hands,
Once found we keep it like a decorative piece of object
name it achievement and in the plumpness of it,
We lose the thin chastity of creation!
Unrealistic
Once again defeated by my thoughts,
my actions become sloth and I become a slow coach
lost in the realms of uncalculating thoughts and visualizations!
Defeated by thoughts,in a jail of it, we remain captive for decades.
Thoughts of you captures me,
Putting rupturing effects on my regularities and persona,
You are an unconquered effect!
I am affected by you in soft delicacy-
time passes away and I spend it on unrealistic thought processes!
In your eyes I see an undeniable attraction,
I follow you everywhere as if I am possessed,
What is this attraction?!
Just like gravity pulls everything to the centre,
You are my gravity and
I promise there’s no other cavity in my heart
that is sunk in your deep blue sea,
I am diving deep,
I am surfing on the surface,
Upside down, I am on the top of the mountain,
Face to face,
I see your eyes,
Your ash eyes drive me crazy,
I bet let’s not stop this frenzy, all right?!
Upside down!
We roll like kids in a slider,
I am a relentless observer, watching you!
Your care and caress is all what the poetess seeks!
Unknown
I see both a man and a child inside you.
Well, it seems I am in love with both of you!
The child version of yours brings my affectionate girlish side ,
which is unknown to me,
The man version of yours brings a cheery but adamant womanish attitude in me,
that’s unknown to me too!
I know myself better with you, even
I know myself better when I am not with you.
To be with you or be parted from you,
Both assemble me to linkages of myself that I never knew!
You make me the whole, the version the world wants to know!
But only you know the version of me, that the world can not fathom or try to know!
Inner child
My inner child is happily playing with your inner child!
My lips are elated to share a lock with your lips,
My body seeks the temperature of your body,
My soul approves of the sensation of your soul,
My hands want to touch you in numerous ways, unusually!
My eyes meeting your eyes speaks about dreams and visions,
My heart always wants to contain your heart,
It fears that there shall not be any conflict,
Any more delusions!
Ours is a great love story, a story written in sun and moons and constellations!
Ours is a great adventure that shall be written in all great scriptures!
What’s the point of asking for goals,
If you get scared like hell and jealous like a brittle jelly?!
What’s the point of asking one about themselves?
If you don’t allow them to be!
I see, your self shattered into so many pieces, but you act like a brisk adventurer,
People show whatever they are not and hide their truest self they might be!!
People say the opposites of their mind to elate your desires,
Theyt to see your fall but will wish you to rise in all pleasant meetings!
All those good morning texts are fake!
All those words spoken in goodwill are a riddled apartheid!
You are torn between ‘Gender Discrimination’,
God damn me! But, here, it’s not the rise of another feminist!
Feminism is also created by elitism, a product of higher means and ends,
the so-called patriarchs.
It’s beneficial for them to liberate a part of women,
but they shall remain forever below them, so they believe!
They create feminists, so they might exploit women more in the name of emancipation!
They also create the boundaries of feminism, how masculine a female might and shall become!
In a life changing viva board, I was asked a question,
What is your aim and resolution?
I said them loud whatever was in my mind,
They kind of screwed my intuition!
But, they got scared of my dreams and put a full stop on the talking duration!
I couldn’t speak but my eyes met with their feared eyes and spoke a load,
what wasn’t heard and undone,
I got my renumeration!
And, do you know what was that?!
It was a rejection!
I told them, I am eligible in all ways and can hold a better position,
But, they could see my heights and lengths but not the depth of my innovation
that I could bring in a table and hashtag mesmerization!
I forgot that people are meager and doubtful,
They feel inferior in front of your meaningful words and impactful action,
You also forgot that, hey, this is the cruel world,
this is reality my dear,
They won’t give you a recognition!
Lowering your standards would give them satisfaction!
But, enduring your journey all alone and not by succumbing to their interaction,
You can build a multi-purposed functional inner world, delimiting the imposed limitation!
That’s a victory, a passionate lover does not know how to stop in the whirlpool,
there can be no other piece of her, no imitation, forget about all the intimidation!
I know I performed well,
But, you did’nt like my confidence,
And, that’s your problem, not mine!
Never say, a say about your goals and admirations,
People are like energy hawk, they try to steal your vibes and inspiration!
Never say, a say about yourself too much though the world aspires to know you better,
That’s a cloak to soak your aura, don’t be in illusion!
What didn’t make me eligible in your eyes is not my limitation!
You can not hold me because I am a limited edition!
She was a rock and a mountain!
And, she knew how to stand straight!
She walked upon her grave and gave a smile so bright,
She shone in the midst of stormy nights!
Her charm was like a sparkle,
One can just see but can not watch forever,
too bright to handle, it might burn your eyes!
It takes a toll of intelligence to give socially accepted answers, one need to understand the public psychology, what exactly the person next to you wants to hear from you, you have to sense it before hand and then give them their desired responses! And, it takes a load of courage to speak your mind loud but the consequence is, you won’t get the socially aspired position that you long for, instead, you will be on odds and on a run; you will get to do the odd, what others can’t imagine! To be your own kind out of societal pressure and expectations takes a lot of compromises, especially, one has to give up the highly valued social aspirations for the sake of being original!
Tick Tock
I know only the geometry of your body, nothing more shall I fathom to see,
I hear the melody you breath in and out, nothing less shall I aspire to hear!
I look the geography of your body and soul,
Not less or not more shall I desperately seek!
I watch you over and over again, no other scene appetites me!
Tick Tock. Tick Tock.
Give the poetess undeniable love, so shall she give you immortality.
Give her love and care, so shall she name you in an imperishable destiny!! Cheers!!
Problem of Love
The problem with love is that, you try to make your love object to be like you, a photocopy, nonetheless.
You can not escape reality-from where you are and where you remain,
No matter what so ever changes, no matter how much you understand and evolve,
Or work upon,
Nothing changes-The fundamentals never change -It is inevitable, unchangeable and unpredictable.
Fascination
He was fascinated by me, I was fascinated by him,
Both of us lost fascination on each other over time,
Paths aparted.
Some bridges we walked
Sometimes we spent all forgotten.
and suddenly, we disappear.
It is actually interdependence,not infatuation,
Better understood earlier.
Or perhaps infatuation building dependence,
We tend to forget that we are independent
and not dependent on each otherr.
Time passes and it is a healer.
It heals wounds of love and insatiate gratifications,
Either we decide to have more or just juxtapose
our desires with innate passion,
But again passion is nothing but a hustle
and a grip of wind,we forget that we can not hold fire.
Creator
The one who creates always leaves behind the relics of collateral damages!
Damages of self to create a world of happiness not for themselves but for the people,
for people, whom they know, for people whom they don’t know, who are distant to them!
There is no world of creation without disrupting destruction!
Everything is always, as it seems under construction!!
What is love
Love is an art of speech!
If love doesn’t occur from a beautiful speech, then whatever it might be but,
it’s not love!
Love is at its best when in anticipation!
A short story
The only credit of you in my life is that you swiped away the ground of reality
from my feet once in a silly summery noon at the butterfly squad in the mid-town adventure!
Now, that became the talk of the town-a short story!!
Why don’t you love again?
Once I asked a maiden, why don’t you love again?!
Why are you living in reminiscence?!
Why are you building hope in the sands?!
The calm maiden gave me a cold stare,
Her mild glimpse of peace got me into goosebumps and current,
Very slowly she replied,
When love is doomed that does not mean a person is looking for a new love of life,
It means s/he has endured the whole and is not interested in going through the same condition again!
It is utterly hopeless and utterly meaningless,
It is indeed hopelessly, meaninglessly useless!
Eros and thanatos always remains in a fight!
Who wins in the game- nobody knows till death!
Nobody can know till the end!
But, how can love be so sustainable along with the reality principle?!
Because, it originates from another realism,
that no human can live without it and It’s a pleasure!
But, who says, love is always a pleasure?!
It’s a short-term incubation! And, long term suffocation!
But, why do you stay in love?!
Because, you have no option!
You are habituated to love and love more like Infinity some!
You love for best or worst, but the cycle of love never stop,
whether you stay in or out of love, It’s gonna create always a hole in your heart,
whether you extinct from this world,
It’s irrelevant; love, never fades away and
there is no extinction of love in any period,
it reappears in many, many forms in the way of life as usual!
Eros and thanatos is constantly fighting!
Who wins in the game- nobody knows !
Nobody can know the end till death!
Till, Thanatos appears in form and fume humans in ashes.
Love instinct is a bondage,
But, reality instinct paves freedom,
Both of this instinct clashes with each other,
Remains in a dialectical position,
When love is high reality disappears,
When reality is high no love occurs!
When, love and reality is co-existent in a juxtaposition,
Then, both of them competes with each other to take control of the human!
Alas! Love is always a failure!
When you understand that nothing can heal you,
No accomplishments, no person, no possessions,nobody and nothing can make you happy,
then, you are truly immersed into the depth of sadness.You know only you can choose when to sooth your sadness for the sake of moving on or just for living,
you have the switch of turning on and off the button,
Then, you know the meaning of life that it is nothing but only a sad encounter!
The biggest myth of life is, as they say,
“Time heals everything!”
What a lie!!
Instead, time digs deep, it hurts more and more,
Untill you fall into a rabbit hole!
You are more wounded by time,
And, just like time itself, pain knows no bounds,
It becomes limitless, speechless,transgressing,
running deep and very deep.
To diminish the pain,the attempt as you see, is utterly hopeless!!
I search dust,I collect ash,
Therefore, I find the pearl,I carry grief upon my head
In quest of happiness, I give a drive to a trickery sea
that is wide enough but full of cheat.
I search for happiness in the mourn,
Tears binding in my heart beats every time.
My numberless dreams with reverent hands fall crash too hard.
Where the destiny is remain unknown.
Yet,I smile, oh!yes,I smile like a shooting star!
I fly free as a dove in the sky that knows no bound.
I cherish my suffering deep in the core of my heart
There they sleep in the lap of their mother.
I build a house of my own and stay happily ever after,
I get peace in the sorrow.
I turn off the glimpse of light then I close my eyes.
Two drops of tears rolling down gently on my face.
I feel glad, Oh I feel glad, when I am alone,
yes,when I am alone I feel a sense of relief,
Because,I can bleed in sorrowful battle,
but can’t see people dying in it!
In a world of mountain-like vise,
I enquire for freedom,
What is sorrow if it doesn’t hurt?
What is happiness if it isn’t felt?
What is moonsoon without summer?
What is sun without its intensity!
When there is dark outside
there’s merely a tiny reflection of light
Pain is external that never sustains,
Hope is eternal that always win.
Devotee
My alienated detatched lover whimpers in pain,
Everybody is selfish,
They want your togetherness for their own needs,
People are so needy but I don’t find anyone when I am in need.
And the poetess said to her lover,
“I am too loyal for my own being as I need something/ someone to worship on,
to believe in,That’s called devotion, not love or lust!”
I am nothing less but a devotee to you,
I am devoted for you, you are to me,
We are two devotees worshipping each other!
And, here comes no uncertainty about loyalty,
Cause devotion only examines patience and dignity!!
The lover cheered up. Cleared his doubts. Started praying.
His love is like a prayer, her devotion is like a sacred hymn played into the oceans!!
Her belief was a spirit of fire!
His love for her was a spirit of water!
I am intoxicated in your love,
Enchanted though not misguided in your love,
Do you mind?!
I am all focused and involved only into you,
And, my shattered pieces all one by one confronted by you,
knows me deeper than anything else,
Deeper than the deepest sea,
Deeper than the ocean blue sky,
Deeper than the deadly rock and skyscraper!
I am immersed into you,
In the whimsical of pain and pleasure,
All with you, drowned in your melodrama,
Now, tell me my love, what can I do?!
I break myself by breaking you but I had to
break myself always to be with you!!
I crave you
With all the stimulations and the long-lasting desires!
I crave you as you curve me more into hindsight!
I crave you like I have been detached from you for about a decade!
I would crave for you even in the grave!
My ghost would hunt you down in solitude and
be watchful over your every move as if you are in shackle!
Shackle of divine love and reprisal!
This ambivalence is beyond comprehension!!
For your only direction should be always towards me,
For your thirst should only be appeased by me!
For your vision should only encounter with mine and
stare at the cold gaze before the earth is reignited into fire and ashes!!
What say?! Huh!
Common let’s play with holy fire,
Get turnished before purification and get fixated,
For a lifelong mate- maybe we could become an empyrean!!
Estranged Lover
Once my estranged lover shouted in agony-
I am also needy, I am exhausted taking care of others.
I have me only when I am in need!
Here, the lioness poetess comes,
She tucks his head in her wide arms and whispers in his ears,
Here, I am, all in one, Be calm and take whatever you need!
I build my reality with my own hands= Free will;
I know how to build my reality with my own hands= Structure;
I build my reality with my own hands because the reality was always there,
I had to build it in my own way, as everything always pre-existed!
Words of wisdom
You can not repress your experiences, they somehow show their reflection in your behaviour. Whatever you want to hide, the ugly truth of your experiences, that particular concealed part comes out of you when you interact with people, you show your weakness, insecurities and worries, because you are instinctive to find a shelter, a part of home to the persons you share your deepest scars with. The problem of suppression of pain is that you express those in wrong time, in wrong situations with wrong peoples, because they have been so successful to show you the part of hominess that you so eagerly longed for! But, you had been wronged before and you will be wronged forever, because you fall in the trap of manipulation everytime if you try to suppress your weakness, your pain, your hidden agonies, frustration, anguish .If you try to repress your pain, then you will feel suffocated always and build an alter ego, that eventually connects you with manipulative people, you can not any longer deter between right and wrong, moral and immoral, because your own self then blinds you self boosted ego that is actually working as a self-defence mechanism.
That’s why, its okay to not be okay sometimes. Its okay to flush out your angers, your worries, It’s okay to make mistakes, then learn. It’s for your own growth, self-wisdom, It’s actually a learning process in life. To get broken, shattered into pieces and then gathering those broken pieces and make a new version of yourself, embracing your pains, insecurities, not letting to build alter-ego, to understand your defence mechanism and not to stick with it, with time, let it flow! Let you yourself, understand your pain better than anyone else, let you yourself analyze it, dive deep through it, shrug yourself and tell, its okay! You are worth it! It happens! Let you understand the causes that effected your pain, if not you can change all the processes that caused you misery but you now are free from self-guilt, inferiority and stop blaming yourself and others for your agony. Then only you will be self-healed, you don’t need others to project upon your unfulfilled desires, you do not need others to flush out your pain, agonies. You yourself are the master of your life, a master of your self-healing journey. Do not blabber about your pain, do not complain, do not step behind, do not hide, confide in yourself, do not despair, do not loose hope, just embrace your pain. Be the adult that you h never had to show you path, be that mentor, set your own ‘mantra’ by understanding your pain, mastering it and then relief will come by releasing it! Let it go, let it flow, let it be just the way as it is! It is the part of life, its your own shadow, you can not escape it and you can not detach it from yourself. Its your very own essence- embrace it, love it, give it a name, a meaning, a purpose, a reason.
Reason solves everything! Give it a proper definition, fix it’s place and give it a role!
Be the adult that you wanted to get in your past life, be the adult that you wish to be for your future version. Be the adult, be the guide for others to let them get to understand their own journey, be the change, be the light, enlighten yourself and others with that light!
You are a force to the universe, you are the master of your own fate, you should account for your actions, you should play your role as a social being rightfully in all ways, you can not escape from taking responsibilities. You are responsible for yourself and others, You alone are responsible for breaking or mending the society, social norms, so to build a stable society, at first you have to build yourself- a version of yourself that knows why she/he exists, who can identify herself/himself with reason, rationality and morality, an ‘incomplete morality’ can destroy you and societal peace. After, the accomplishment of being a whole human -a compassionate one who can reason, then you can help others to construct themselves and build a peaceful society together, nit by surpassing agonies but by actually embracing them, acknowledging them. That’s where spiritual or rational success I named, will come from!
While talking to a person, we often forget that we are not just talking with an individual but with a myriad of role players, and we don’t know what role/character is she/he in while interacting with you….! That’s how miscommunication forms between individuals, clashes between ideologies comes from conflict between roles and role players. Everything it seems is a part of societal role playing, identity, status, acknowledgement and all is a part of it! “The basic role” one admires in herself/himself, s/he chooses to show it to others and interacts within the concepts of the roles, the cliches that particular role inflicts upon her/him, that s/he brings up with her/him and carry wherever s/he goes, with whomever they encounter and with whatsoever they happen to be doing in daily basis.
If you can not change the fact, then interpret the fact differently.It will sooth you. But most importantly, it will keep you on track or open new opportunities and pathways. If you can not have a solution of an innate existential problem, then build up coping mechanism by believing in something valuable; it may be belief on supreme soul, on humanistic qualities such as love, hope and aspirations. Struggle itself will never slow down or be less disturbing, but it will at least be bearing! Coping skill, that’s called human’s ultimate power, There is nothing human can not do to overcome her/his adversity. What does not kill you makes you strong-so in this fiery world the first thing is to do is to survive! Survive -mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and socially. Survive comprehensively,all the way possible! That’s life! It is not a fantasy land, its a place where your dreams are crushed down under hard realities!
We live once,We are born once,
Wait who said we are born once?
What you see coming out of your
womb is a mere creature like anyother,
Its not your part or contribution,
It will crawl when it’ll get hungry,
It’ll cry when it needs your help,
You pity and your pityness you call it
Love,Ah!what an universality!
How fake are you?!
You die once,who says that lame truth,
You had been dead since you are alive,
You are a prisoner,You are a vision of another big motion,
You are just an arranged assembly,
you are nothing but codes and symboles,interections and
settings of something already planned,
You can think that you exist but what if you were
always hidden?Rotten inside,
You can presume you play well but what if that
game doesn’t belong to you?
You are just playing a secondary role,
Ah! sucking!
You suck like a neuter,
You spit like a rat,
You speak like a dumb ass,
You act like a fool when you try to convince
Yourself all known,
You gather power like a fox,
You accumulate like a bunch of snakes,
Stop breathing!your poisonous smell is
Deteriotating in nature,
You are spoiling the eco system;perhaps
You are building it,
You are at the top of the pyramid,
How can one collapse it?
Does anyone lets anybody to get in anyways?
Love,hate,affection,blessing,curse,respect
all human emotions are an illusion,
You need what you want and you use these terms for projections,
Imposing roles on others whom you assign in
Your life to get means,
Fools believe in you,
May be theirs brain is an illusion,
That signals him to trust,
Trust and get hurt,
Love and be broken,
Hate and take privilege,
Sooth and get disheartened,
Master and impose dominance,
Submission and coerced intercourse,
You sport like a foul cat,
Without permission you propagate,
You are pregnant then with disloyalty,
Disbelief and disown yourself,
Of what you get without asking for,
Like this way I was not asked by Almighty
to choose,
My preferences are always evoluting,
For thousands and thousands of years my
thoughts have roamed through other
Askers,through truth seeker,
Now since I have born I will sustain,
I will ask,I will find my lost self,
I will look upward,I will look humanity,
I don’t think anyone owns this,
I will love fiercely, I will cohabit
Not according to my lot but to whom I adamantly prefer ,
you can try your best to not to see me,
But trust me my friend you can not hide me!!
I don’t need anybody to dance with me,
I don’t need anybody to run with me,
I don’t need anybody to feel the chill,
I can see the charms,beauty and necters,
I gathered petels,wore it as neclace,
I roamed around the half of the world
East middle Asia to find your trace,
But I almost forgot those paths,
I forgot,because I loved twice,
I was born and reborn,
In the paleolithic wet land,
I was found in delta,
I crossed it like an ultra,
In my way I saw sufferers
Suffering with me,
I saw stones and bricks,
I saw sticks and storms,
I saw flood and irony,
I saw magnificent and wanderers,
I saw truth and victory,
I saw conspiracy ,hidden culture and a defeat,
I tried to break the walls,but I was grounded,
I tried to hold you,I tried to see the world in
Your eyes but you shove my head with sharp
Needles,it hurts,
Nothing gonna change me as
I am consistently part of dual existence,
One aparted from another will unite beyond
Controversy,
When one part of me asks who do you belong?
I say I am yours when you exist,
The other part groaning,then where do I collide within?
I say you are in my breath,in my consciousness,
But when only I inhale,
How can you stop breathing?
I am your owner,
No you don’t owe me I owe you!
My living and death are in my hands,
If I decide to live I can live without breathing
Beyond era,time,space and being,
If I decide to die I can be dead despite living
Like an empty shell wandering,
Giggling with no reason,
I need purpose to exist,
So none of yo r my master,
I prevail therefore you sustain,
I order so shall you awake,
I hail so are you confided,
I arouse so are you so melodious,
I love,I hate,I stare,I fight,I ponder,
So tell me if you can be existent outside of me?
As I am the bearer,
I wear you underneath my skin,
If you think I need any one,
Then u should know I am alone and I am whole.
My life full of vicissitudes,
You were the one to be blamed for,
Oh!damn!how can u show tantrums
Throw attitudes?
You put me on thorns
Inception was a dreaded nightmare,
You locked me in the darkest zone,
I cried,I murmured,became numb and cold,
How can you be so crude?
On the days of rains,
On the days of heavens,
You never touched me on aisles,
You didn’t kiss me on cheeks,
You didn’t cuddle me when
I was frozen,
Now on the nick of time,
On the spark of rebell ,
I declared a war with you
Oh lord I declared an identity war with you,
Causality is deductive,
You are not anymore seductive,
I have grown an empiricist,
Your fellows are liars and they are practising cowardice,
Oh!my god,I didn’t ask for help,
I didn’t shout,I didn’t go out into other realms,
I stayed,actually my victory prevailed there
With my soul on that dark ground,
Can you remember me crying loud
I know you miss my screams,
Scrambling, scratches,scars,
Now after twenty years how can you
Show affection-love and compassion,
When I omitted those words from my
Sensory motors?
You proved you are so fool!
Go feed those greedy owls
With golden spoon and silver bowls!
I am outta there!
I compose on the rainy days
commemorating you the unknown!
I don’t know you niether do you know me,
We both met on a rolling yacht,
Come closer,touch on my spot,
Feel the warmth, Feel the rage,
Burning sensations, Lingering anigma,
Unpronounced words entangling me into
Your charisma,
You are a prism light to me,
You are a sheer desire,hope-whale-sea,
I want to approach you by sailing on your channel,
Come closer and hear the missed beats oh
You are such a cosy mist!
Come closer today touch me like rain drops,
Let me feel every inch of you,
Today I want to write a poem about you,
If you are a shining sun I want to be
Your rising moon,
Raise me up,hold me,I am falling catch me,
But your words save me,come closer you
The mighty unknown!
What’s right what’s wrong,
I am in a dillema,I am confused,
You may come closer I might flee,
You may watch me,I might hide,
I am afraid,don’t push me on my limits,
Don’t see me like this way,don’t show me affection,
Cause I will fall for you and I don’t want to fall again,
Here in this era I myself am a big question mark,
Who says love is loved once,it’s a miracle,
Everytime I see you I love you from a distance,
I don’t have the courage,I am not outspoken,
You are so big,I am in the cradle,
You know how to play while I am learning,
You have your regime Whilst I am searching,
You have your identity,I am in crisis,
Hey,you can be a legend of my dreams,
I can preach your style everywhere,
Teach me what you know,show me
What you have got,
Hold me with all your strength,
I want to be fragile like feathers in your arms.
Hey, the unknown, recognise me?
I am the one conforming you!
Negotiation
Negotiation was needed,
Now I am firm in my decision,
I was in dillema-that is now all cleared,
You and me are meant to be apart!
No compatibility! No compassion!
You and me were tied on the need of demand!
A contractual relation!
I can not be weak,
I can not be a fool,
You can not control me,
You dimwit! What a waste of time and loss!
I do not think about society and do not need
any approval,
You can not threat me any of its obligations!
As always was I alone I do not fear to be more lonelier,
As I always faced hurdles I do not mind to face more,
I love challenges and breaking with you is not less than
A challenge cause this time I will break a damn strong
Protocol!
I already did it to be with you-breaking protocol,
Now you lead me to destruct more,
Vulnerable as I always was in risk and now
Risk does not matter,
I do not care to be defamed!
As my logic of fame is something beyond!
No you will not see me sorry or weak like others,
Why did you ever forget that you didn’t love a commoner?
I am not like anybody else, I am different but you are indifferent,
this indifference leads me to pain that I can not bear!
I should have known stars should be involved
in a piracy of our dreams and destination,
Stars should not fall in land as human can crash it too
and make it furniture!
No apology,No forgiveness,
I demand freedom!
Burden
I can hide better,
My face is not my surface,
Do not try to read between the lines,
I can rejoice and cry all together,
Choosing to show you my one side!
Depending on your character!
This game no one plays better,
Smiling outside,crying inside,
Lost in thoughts,but still in action,
Still focusing on you what you have to say,
Because no one ever had to try to hear me out,
To reach me,to carry my burden there,
Ah,my frustration!
A losing consideration!
Awful pathetic consolidation!
I see you,I touch you through your unsaid words
Because nobody saw me with compassion,
I’ve always seen hatred,jeolousy and jeopardy
In their eyes,
Nobody touched me with a serene heart,
As I shall now come across to see the better!
As I shall stop punishing me,
This is not my fault!
My burdens of being nothing!
My burdens of having none!
My burdens of getting trickery!
Tik tok!
Time lies,so does peoples action,
Why do I need to be so sure of what I do
And say?
Why do I need to follow caution when they do not
go by any rules of hurting me always!
This is zero,
A sum of total Zero,
Don’t try to act a hero
Infront of me because I know you
and I do not love you anymore!!!
I can hear out my heartbeat
So fast;So loud ,
As if it was in a race and a cute
Lil ponytail pacer,
I wanted to win,
But it doesn’t want to be with me anymore,
I guess I’ll have to leave,
My heart is aching in pain,
I’ve cut down all the pains,
But still once its pierced, it is always stitched!
My heart is not listening to me as if it belongs to another!
It doesn’t show me obedience,
As if I am not the owner!
Am I too bad that it wants to leave me behind?
Am I too insecure to keep my heart safe?
My wealth!
What else do I have except these?
No asset!
No fame!
No kin!
To share my heart with!
It’s been sore living alone,
It’s been demanding to make love,
Getting warmth,
Oh, I am so cold!
I am numb!
Breath into me,
Save me my lord;
No I do not need a spouse,
Just a heart that belongs to my damaged heart,
Who can heal my heart and love it too!
Complementary.
You and I are opposites,
You are rational, I am emotional,
We are complementary,
Let’s celebrate a companionship for a century,
Let’s die together and walk shoulder in shoulder to our cemetery!
Destiny is hard to neglect,
It is my reckoning stars
That always makes me vulnerable,
stares me into cross-connection!
The ill lot that puts me in danger,
Stained luck and begotten fortune
That drags me to the evil!
How can my heart belong to a deadly eagle?
How can I not be able to see the preface?
How can I not free myself from its clutches?
How can I be dependent on a monster?
I depicted him as an angel,
I carried him as camelia
But alas!he was a shrewd chameleon!
Now I am trapped!
Utmostly core to bottom,
Head to toe,
River to ocean,
Hill to rocks and mountain,
Taking me to the drowning fountain,
I lived a life so misleading, so careless!
I was born into a pavilion,
I thought it was paradise,
But as usual it was a lost paradise,
I was an outcast for no reason,
Maybe they could not bear my light,
Hence being captured in my own resonating light!
Doomed into the dark!
I can not live with you nor can I leave you!
So many commitments!
What shall I do?
Where should I go?
I wish for subsistence,
I wish for a residence,
I wish for some pure souls in my sphere,
So that I can forget you for good monster!
But, I can’t and that’s the losing point,
Because, the heart loses to the societal chain,
There is no value of your wellbeing here.
Destiny is scripted and re-scripted by society.
Feeling of death arises
When you think you have none,
Feeling of mourn shouts out of
Your head when you feel you are all alone,
I discovered love in two terms,
Love as a need,
And, love as an obligation,
You need love-
When you are sorrounded by death, fear and illusion,
Fakeness and loneliness,
Oh you can act to be hard!
But you love because you do not
have an option,
You love because you can not stay alone
any longer,
Not more than a week,a month or a year,
You find gems and collect mirror,
Mirror of self!
Oh I am crying to see my other self!
What is it?
Who is it?
I will be lost,come sooner my duplicate!
Battle with heart.
My battle with my heart is
ongoing,
You can not save me any more,
Cause I am dying,
You only broke my heart into pieces,
Now I live with my scattered heart
and it stops beating!
I stop breathing!
I am burning inside,
Don’t you see this pain?
I was struggling,
I was always in risk,
None of you saved me
Instead pushed me into death,
Now I am a dead person wavering in a shell,
I will explain my life and deeds and untold
Stories what I hide,
I will not cover myself,
Cause I can see I am dying!
I tried to kill myself once,second and thrice,
Oh how pity!I did not die!
You tried to kill me hundred and thousands of
times,
Oh you can still see me,
How do I survive?!
Fallen angels and demons
Shout for democracy
Inside me,
Wrecking souls collapse,
Calling all in fame,
Shall I join???
My art is nothing but a beauty of nothingness!
My story is unheard so shall I open it!
My skill is full of reluctance and negligence,
My mind is full of pain,sorrows and cowardice
I have faced,
Oh I make you brave,
I encourage you to fight
Because I am dead!
I could’ve fought more well!
I couldn’t protect myself from the evil
Destiny its too hard to cope with,
I couldn’t say what I should’ve said,
I couldn’t show them what I should’ve shown,
I couldn’t live the life what I aspired for,
couldn’t receive the love that I bestowed upon,
My naive shadows!
My bravo fears!
I condemned,I locked on those scary wounds
and despair into my heart,
Now my heart is closed!
Oh Save me my God;
I want some light!
I do not want this gloomyness
This makes me ill,
I feel scared,
Once again take me your shrine,
Once again take me to my mother’s lap,
I want to crawl back into the womb,
I want to come out of my cocoon
Fresh and innocent,
Oh where my innocence hides?
Locked in a treasure,
Oh I feel like drowning.
My thoughts kills me everytime,
Why I have to be different?
Can’t I seek help?
Oh!I can not be strong
I am full of fakeness acting rough,
Inside I am so soft delicate!
You hurt me so well!
You know me better than anyone else!
So you use trickery to manipulate me
Using my goodness, you pretend,
I was so lost in your charm of pretence !
I wish I could never understand your
capability of loosening and controlling me,
This far I’ve always abide by your foresaken
Norms and regulations,
Oh you are so brilliant!
You could make me do anything by your
Manipulation,
I thought it was my dream,
My thoughts,
My residence,
My belongings,
But now I understand that I stand to nowhere!
This time I fall so hard,
I do not need your hand,
I can save myself,
Repair my broken heart,
This is not new,I can rise from ashes,
This is completely new because
Now I focus on something else!
My fake smile,
My torn out pages,
My lost poems,
My lost aura,
Lost ones and lost memories,
I write in commemoration,
I write for salvation,
I write for punishment,
I write for litigation,
An untold story of Arbitration,
Feudal war and navigation!
War between two countries,
Two nations,
War between two cultures and
Many peoples!
All die,All crashed through surfaces,
All lost in the prestigious glorification!
So did I for a long time!
So did I rip my part and left behind!
I can remember so well,
I can not forget though I seem to be forgetful!
No I have to describe!
Explain my part before it is too late!
Don’t you hear me?
Don’t you see?
Don’t you have eyes when you claim to know everything?
Can’t you recall how you betrayed me,
Can’t you specify?
If I doom so shall you,
Beware!
If I die my words will tangle you as
an unnamed diplomat!
I am a worrior, I am a fighter,
I survived death,
I can encourage myself,
I am a loser,I lose everything,
I know to distribute whatever I get!
Fool!Fool!Fool!
Foul!Foul!Foul!
All part of me!
All part of you-you stink!
Take your ass back to the garbage,
From where you swine came from!
I do not want to go with you,
I deny to cohabit ,
I deny to live with your memories and
Social burdens!
I can not deny my self-esteem!
I can not deny my pity ness,
That I am scorned out!
I can not be relieved until
I found a path breaking result,
Until I can sway away all the fears,
Until I can do something for me for sure!
Matriarch
You are a matriarch-
That, I could never win or compete against!
I never wished to!
Mother, you are a figure-
That, I could never contemplate or configure out though!
You are a match-
That I never intend to pretend though!
You were my heaven that left me into a turmoil
and distress in the midway, I could never break the faulty structure you made for a century though!
You are incomprehensible, insensible and inhumane -because, you know only in this way power can remain in your hands though!
For not letting to slip away the authority within you,
You left all your caress and loving concerns behind just to control!”
Ah, matriarch I wish you were just a mother not a system to us,
I wish you were just a human not a power structure!
Oh, matriarch, I wish you were only a doting mother but not the ruler,
I wish you were only a caring guardian but not the authoritarian, not at least an authority for me to be a rebellion!
In this tug of war, I keep breaking myself and move further and further away!
Alas! Matriarch in the absence of patriarch is equally harmful- and there’s no emancipation!
No freedom and no equity in both-
The patriarchy and The matriarchy system-
What a loosing apparatus and frustrating system!
See me
I can’t see you hurting,
I don’t know why I am feeling this,
I can feel your wounds and scars,
I can touch you without touching you
through your words,
I can get into you diving in your eyes,
I can penetrate into your heart as I feel
My heart jumping and pausing all along with you,
I can feel that you also think,carass about me,
I do not know the law of attraction,
Because if I knew it then you probably couldn’t
attract me or most significantly affecting me,
Because you are the one whom I need to cuddle,
Because I can see ages disappearing,
Because I can see transcendence and evolution,
Because I can see something binding us so strong
That none of us or anyone could ever think of,
I feel secure with you though I do not know you,
I can sense in my inner sight about you that you are right!
I have a gut feeling and intuition,my thoughts don’t lie to me,
I haven’t seen anything like you,
you are that particular revolt
to me that I want to win!!
Come talk to me the mighty unknown,
I can heal you,breath into you,
Bring back to life,
You can be real,
I will be commited
But my commitment will be hidden like always,
You be the comet I’ll be your sparkle,
I be the ray of lights,you be the tourchbearer,
Come close to me as I can show you a different world
That you haven’t seen for ages!!
My works,my passion
All are a lost gamble,
What I didn’t get,
What I didn’t attain,
What I didn’t mention!
Attention!Attention!Attention!
I am craving to meet my grave,
Do not come into my funeral,
Do not pray for me,
Do not call upon my name,
Because it is you people
Murdered me,I am gone!
I can not think anymore!
I do not have that capability
to sustain,
To choose a war,
An uneven trade of my poor heart,
It can not work!
My whimming whispers,
My cries,My laugh,
You have shrewdly ignored it,
Then why do you need my focus now?
My baby heart!It is so full of pain!
I can not pour it love!
It is filled with poison!
I need petels,I need swords,
To adorn my bleeding heart,
It is screaming;
My increasing thirst,
Thirsty as I always was!
How can you not see me for
so long?!
How can I be so far away
From everything and everyone?
Ah!Alienation!
Ah!Censorship!
I’ve ruined my heart!
Cut it,divided it,decieved it,
Now all I want is deliverance,
Delegation and no more debate!
I am tired!
Oh my forgiving nature
Why are you so virulent?
Oh my wisdom why do you cry
For coming out?
Or do you sense that you will
Diminish with me for once and all!
I am dying,
I am losing,
Am I too lost?
Am I too weak to be saved?
Or too audacious to live?
Unguided angels,uncontrolled spirits,
Come to my heart!
I am calling you to make a contract!
Forgive me,Bring me my love back,
I want to be loved,
My heart shall not crash!
Old or new show me paths,
I can not remember any ally,
I can not climb the ladder by shortcut!
Bring me back to life,
I want to live,I do not want to die!
I can feel it,
I can sense it coming over,
I can breath in what I’ve menifested on,
I can see what I’ve thought of,
I can feel that we were to meet up,
I found a reason that where we are,
I term it that we are destined to meet each other,
Through ages,through distances,through cycles,
Upheavals,mysteries and miscommunications
Yes we were not meant to be together but
I don’t know why I am sure of it that you are my destiny,
I mean it to be meant together!
There is no free will, you get to choose within the structural parameters, you get whatever the structural boundary allows you to get! But, when you ditch the structures and its boundary, you may achieve something but again you get involved into another structural boundary and usually get whatsoever this new structure allows you to have! That’s it! Nothing new or charming! That’s patterned and regulated.
Everyone’s life is a reflection of their belief systems! As a deterministic I believe in the processes! Processes that shapes you, processes by which you interpret your world!
Someday the pain in my heart will erase but I think how?!
Spilling tears rolled down on rosy cheeks won’t heal the pain..!
The heart is beaten down so harsh!
It is felt like a stone now- unbreakable!
The version of me yesterday asks ,
Can I smile widely in an open heart now?!
Time has raised me up,
Now, it is telling me to deal with the world,
I am an adult of me now,
The child of the inner me from yesterday asks,
Do you feel hurt now?!
Where do you find comfort?
The child inside me hugs today’s version of me tightly
and says, It is okay dear!
Time has raised you,
You are grown up now but the pain?!
Spilling tears won’t ease it!
So deeply wounded you were!
The child inside me shrugs and consoles
today’s me,
Me from yesterday notifies me,
Yesterday is gone, dear. You are okay now!
Someday you can smile full full-hearted
Someday the pain stuck in your hurt will be gone!
Conflicts are necessary in life,because only conflicts and struggles causes revolt that brings ultimate change-either for good or for bad! But,here again, change is inevitable whatever the consequences shall be!
Simultaneously
I hide my scars so well
That my scars look a gesture on my body
and a symbol in my soul,
I hide my scars so well,
cause I own it as a part of life,
Indeed, it is my dearest ringing bell,
It alerts me when to rise from the ashes
and for not once blink my eyelashes,
In the brink of the wet-teary jowl!
Oh, Yes, I wear my scars like a crown,
Because every great thing hides an ugly slur,
That can’t be drained but owned like a tint of paint,
that’s so wishfully dreadful
and at the time beautiful!!
You say, You know me!
But the fact is, you know me the parts I allow you to know about me dear!
Watch closely, as now I return the favour!
I forgot to mention, I am a cold stone!
Your heat could not melt me!
Revenge! What’s that?!
My revenge for you is that I forgot you completely,
As if you never existed!
Ouch!! Isn’t that painful?!
Even an ant is existent l but you aren’t!
Atoms also speak a ton but you don’t!
Because you are a ‘No matter’ in my sense of world!
Now, that’s where you stand- in seclusion:
that couldn’t engage with my thoughts!
Justification
Sorry but I have no insecurities to share with you and let you be my bossom;
for you could be the supplier of your validations and your own speculations!
Any predictions?! That too about me?!
Hey, you!
I am unpredictable!
Sorry but no sorry,
I do not need your validations!
So do not intrude into my privacy and make a violation!!
you misread me and misrepresented me,
That’s was your miscalculation!
I do not follow any obstruction,
And, will not allow any,that’s my determination!
Thanks but no thanks, I know the universe and myself,
I need no extermination!
Or any kinds of explanation!
I am not vindictive and will not allow any kind of vindication!
You can be off with your own insecured agendas!
Indeed you are privileged, so you can hear my voice!
Here, comes a valid question,
To hear my part of story, who has gained the right?!
By choosing to opinionate my doctrines openly,
Publishing my thoughts on wide range,
I am condemned to all kinds of judgements,
Thus, on my lengthy on going journey,here,
follows some Lowly sarcasms.
Why I love you
I love you because you have understood my
‘Deep Psyche’ that nobody could!
Only you could touch my uncomprehending soul,
Those who enchanted me, whispered in my ears saying
‘You are beautiful ‘ were a lie,
Cause only you could read between the lines and
mend the scars behind the unknown!
Now, I feel the most ‘beautiful’,
because someone has touched the most unbearable part of me,
made it look ‘wonderful’.
If I get the way to enlightenment,
Then will you be able to live your life without me?
Without hugging me and grinding me into your arms,
If I get enlightened and be lost into the surreal world of leafy green
and greenness of earthly roots and grasses,
then would you be capable of handling the chores
and unreally real worldly terms,
When I will be absently present, Won’t this hurt you badly?
Your wonder is wandering around, you could not possess her soul?
But here lies the body, here lies the light
But the Prisma is somewhere alone!
Bared we are discover naked truth!
Truth of splendor,truth of perfections and imperfections,
And joy of being incorrect ,untruth!
Enlightenment is here in this beauty of earthly love,
Only the way to superseded into some higher aura,
By y,ou I climb into that spectral moonshine
Where you and I are throned into the shrine,
Yet we revolve for one hundred and thousand of years,
Yet we rejoin after years to get high into that realm
of disappearance and delve into the absolute freedom.
To me it is real or unreal or simultaneously both,
To you it is may be somewhat you know better,
I am not in a position to define, To me here is enlightenment,
I do not need to sink into the lonely river,
better I dive deep into the tight grips of your arms.
Here is no desire-Peace.
And no going further-No unrest,
No more distance from soul.
It is here an absolute contentment.
Home
I am building a home in a wrong timing at a wrong direction,
may be building a castle in breeze at late hours!
I am singing a song but those are foreign to me, I will sing no more!
My unfulfilled desires, let it blossom on the bossom of this greeny earth,
Let it bloom like a grass on the other dimension!
I am just a distant builder, I build a home in you,
yes, I am thirsty, But, just like a stormy wind you arive in the destitution of sun!
In front of you, I fall like fallen leaves,
You break my home!
As if you are my home
I am making in late hours.
Noontime song seems to be a bit foreign here.
We would better not sing those.
Rather let me put my unfulfilled dreams
on the lovely chest of the world
and say to them, ` you grow as some green grasses
on the lap of another time on the other world where inhibited love is justified.
I am only an apathetic home maker
who think you a home and
take care of it all the time.
But a few scenes are growing here
for who’s thirst I dont know
and intrigued by those intrigue
you stir up like a storm in the broken sunshine
Like a leaf, I turn yellow and fall.
Unity
Unity of great minds,
Can be like a bomb blast,
A blast of thoughts,
Flowing in all kinds!!
I am intoxicated in your love,
Enchanted though not misguided in your life,
Do you mind?!
Whimsical
I am all focused and involved only into you,
And, my shattered pieces all one by one confronted by you,
knows me deeper than anything else,
Deeper than the deeper sea,
Deeper than the ocean blue sky,
Deeper than the deadly rock and skyscraper!
I am immersed into you,
In the whimsical of pain and pleasure,
All with you, drowned in your melo-drama,
Now, tell me my love, what can I do?!
I break myself by breaking you but I had to break myself always to be with you!!
A story of loyalty
I am loyal to you for decades and those sincerities can’t be put on facades.
I’ve been with you in all thick and thins,
I’ve wandered with you in those dreadful rocky mountains and slippery expedients!
So, that was my part of story.
But, I forgot, You have a version of your own part in the storyline too!
Once in a chitchat with your so called friends actually aka foes in a lavish dine,
I overheard you saying,
“Ugh, she’s a loyal bitch ! Forever, barking but not biting, a docile creature
that only circulates around its master, she is just a circle, I am the center of it!”
Really?!
It seems so! Here I want to rewrite the story and there’s a plot twist,
“If you think me a loyal dog, I will bite you if you are caught of security,
But, if you think me a loyal baby tigress, I will rip you apart before you even start crawling!”
Moral of the story is,” Never, doubt my loyalty and never ever look down to it,
Don’t take my grudges for granted, I make every penny count,don’t forget it!
Urban City and Urban Glam
Urban city and urban glam,
We wake to see a gloomy dam,
Dam of burdens and high hopes and fall downs,
We wake to hear moonsoon rain and think
Sky is also pouring down to our pain!
Urban City and Urban glam,
We wake up with unfulfilled acts,
Only to see deep down to doom, to merge,
To outlive our own dreams and parts and
Feel inexistent while still existing on this land!
Urban City and Urban glam!
You put a sham on my face!
Found solace in solitude,
My inner voice speaks to me,
My soul sings lullaby to me daily,
My heart pours devotion to myself,
Finally, I have found peace with myself
and stopped conquering the world,
Because it is the world inside that one has
To conquer.
It is the reign inside that one has to sustain,
It is the wisdom inside that one has to hear,
It is the solace in solitude that makes solitariness
great ever after.
Endless journey begins here.
You are anything and nothing-at the same time!
The nihilistic cage is untied!
Deeply in wound you cry in pain and agony,
Deeply in wound your eyes shed blood not tears,
Deeply in wound you are so wounded,
Still the world expects you to give them,
Still the world expects you to care for them,
Still the cruel world wants to snatch anything and
everything little you have!
Still the mean world wants you to crawl in pain,
Still this profane materialistic world wants you to
materialise, objectify and brand you in
The same skin they are just like a snake.
Deeply so wounded you are that you fail to
Recognise whom to trust and whom not to trust,
Deeply in wound, you forget that there is none so
pure as your heart that knows to love.
You have never met a heart so pure,
That can pour love.
That’s why you are deeply in wound,
So wounded you are!
Deeply you are so wounded that you don’t know
Anymore how to love!
Illusion of the The Illusionist.
Whole my life was a walk of illusion,
Slowly I walked out from the dream into reality
Just like dew drops fall out from moist mist!
Throughout my life I’ve been delusional just like a bubble,
It seems it is there but at the end with a loud clap,it busted into nothingness!
Just like a bubble we are inclined into doing things just to prove we exist!
We exist to act and act ultimately to feel numb
and nothingness!
Nothingness at the core of heart and blink of eye,
we see illusional dimensions!
Don’t get into dilemma, Don’t be delusional!
Everything comes into the point of nothingness!
Hail the nothingness cause it brings one to life
from a drop to infinity, and definitely,
its spontaneity will overcome all the shadows,
Cause all shadows unite into blackouts-into nothingness!
You are my destiny!
We needed just little bit of effort,little bit of maturity!
And here we are as a mutiny!
Opposite poles still attract each other
like a magnet is our collaboration,
our wonderful company!
Time flies with you like feathers and again
Time stops with you like a storm stops everything, a cyclone!
You and I are rough calamity!
Fire can not replace fire as it ignites more fire!
Abundance of sparkle!
You and I are a magnitude! A disaster!
Still our unconditional love for each other wins
the battle, earthquake!
You are my destiny, I am a calamity, a mutiny,
Please stop this whirlwind of airstrikes and explosion!
Be my gentle breeze that blows above the pink sky and flows over grey rivers!
Be my gaslight, let me burn the bridges that keep us separate,
Be my waves so that I might take you further with me into
The wonderland, into a dream!
Be my courage so that I can break all the stereotypes!
Be my hobby,my culture,my practice and passion and
Let me solidify my loyalty for you,
Build my trust like an unshakable fortress,
Cause you are my destiny!
You are my destiny and I love you,
I can not think anything beyond you,
You are my horizon where all thoughts ignite,
You are a work of both magic and despair!
I hate you cause I love you so much!
I hate you cause I loved you so much!
And we hurt each other like stone falls and
Burn each other like hell fire,
Welcome to the hell of lifetime,
Here you and I burn in each others arm forever and forever!
We break each other and then shape each other into newer forms,
newer lifetime like a soft clay or sediment!
You are a rollercoaster of my sentiments,
And entire range of destruction just to be born again and be alive!
Like a Phoenix, we rise from ashes and build somber clad!
Cause you are my destiny!!!
I am your destination, you emerge into me!
Emerge into me I am a whirlpool of eternity!
Catch me before I am lost into infinity!
Find me there and walk with me on the margins of
shadows of yours that I show you cause I am your mirror!
I am your reflection whatever you do cause I am your mirror!
And you are my destiny!
Don’t provoke me to be a rebel, a mutiny!
Don’t you mess with my psyche, you psycho!
Remember my company like you always do,
Never forget my fragrance, cause we are our own elegance,
And make our love legendary!
You are my syndrome, I am your symptom,
I am your addiction,you are my concoction!
We are in a heaven-like detention!
But detention is not a cure,it is a condition!
Hey,you!
Do you admit what a red rose signifies?! Its attraction?!
It is its beauty, but don’t adore, don’t succumb to beauty,
Cause all beauty hides untold scars,
Dangers!
Don’t objectify that beauty if you can’t feel the numbness of losing it and
afford to undertake risk,
Risk of losing yourself to adore a perspective,
Risk of losing yourself to forget the uneven, unhealed past
and mess with each other’s unreasoned reasons,
Rise like a sun as it stands alone and shares its light to the entire universe,
And also to the epitome of beauty, the moon and stars,
Be a sun that sets and rises again and again and again!
If a system is lost, don’t emerge into the system,
Create a new world of yours,
a new paradigm,a new perspective, a new system!
Rise above the chaos that holds your soul to unleash,
to uprise, towards ultimate self-seekingness-
self- realization and actualization is a joy!
A joy of discovery,
A joy of unfinished tales!
You want to hear those tales, babe?!
Let’s meet on the end of the world-
where you and I share a common abode!
Death!
Wholesome and great!
Fear the fury,Fury of greatness!
Sometimes a coach, other times a learner,
but always an observer!
what can you see in my eyes??!
It is a valid question with invalid answers,
Well partner, I want to hear a correct one!
please keep trying!
Running…running from the chaos that you own,
Running from self and diminishing it to conquer what?!
Inner demons or scars?!
Ambition is what but an illusion,
Abrupt elimination of past,
That you want to replace with a better future!
Void in self and void in life, you want to fill those
up with glorious acts-you want to prove,
You are seen, you are heard of and you are felt,
Accepted and receiving love,
Until the time you discover that whenever you are
giving you receive what you want or what you don’t want!
Despair! Despair of your existence once,
You lose the capability of what and who you are!
Hail the inner-voice!
The third eye or intuition.
It never lies.
Being a Con does not make you intelligent,
Tricking people does not give you power,
In this foolish world tricksters are given privilege,
Con artist are made intellectuals,
And fraudulent are thought to be master!
Open your eyes!
Open your eyes!
Oh,You foolish!
Tricksters will always be a garbage and
They will bargain for garbages!
Those who have abundance of something don’t know the value of it,
Those who have abundance of wealth, intellect or
love do not know how to use it!
It just flows!
Flows like a river without any direction until
it is submerged into the ocean.
Until it looses its identity and fades away!
Those who have abundance of anything are foolish of all,
cause they do not know how to keep it.
Those who have abundance of anything,
They do not know what sacrifice is.
What letting go and giving is,
What building is from the ashes, What ground zero means!
They do not know what basement means!
Those who have abundance in anything,
they only know how to measure the height but
do not know how the height is gained, how to climb it!
Foul are those who Don’t know what abundance means
and are not thankful of what they own in plenty is!
Practicing capitalism with spiritualism…
Exercise spirituality over liberalism,
Actually practice capitalism with spiritualism!
Then only can humanity flourish!
But, agency of both of these ideologies-
does not they have a continual clash on?!
There can be no middle-ground and business does not know humanism!
Does spirituality know profanity and profit gaining
Mechanism?
And if they too are merged,
Then comes social business,
Business with socialism!
Duh, what a joke!
Underneath lurks clutches of capitalism!
Spirituality rots there, stinks humanism!
But, who does anything for free?!
Oh, you free man, ask yourself a question and do
Pity on yourself,
Are you a free-man?!
Does economic slavery makes you independent?!
Or, just you are another slave to system for its own beneficiaries?!
Are you truely independent?!
comprehension!ing into more poverty and daily necessities,
For everything is now institutionalized and not free of,
even the breath you take, you have to count cash for, ugh!
Modern pathology!
Oxygen saturation and many more!
What makes a human being individual?
What makes him truely free and not biased?!
Aren’t you and me both the production of system?!
Alive to be Alike?!
Influenced and not so influenced!
What it is to be not so influenced?!
Nothingness!!
Everything turns out to be nothing!
Nothingness turns out to be everything,
It is just a differentiation of comprehension.
Emotional slavery derives from economic slavery,
Economic slavery produces emotional dependency,
But, When freed from economic hardships,
can man earn slight independence from certain people,
place,situation or context
but not out of the whole broader system
that will always want you to be a slave,
You are free from one person but slave to another,
Now,that’s the system.
However, Wise are those who don’t sell emotion for economy,
or does not
ponder upon economy so much, give it so value,
Do not surrender to economic conditions and let it overpower you,
your supposition!
For achieving great emotional well-being we earn money,
We tend to think we can buy intangible things with money
and higher economic status!
Nuts you are! And so wrong you are!
Do not sell or live your emotions for economic conditions,
to make it better or worsen it!
It is merely just a condition not an in-born situation!
And, success should not be measured
with the given parameter
but should come out from your own introspection!!
Bravo!
Go on a journey of infinite non-identification!
thought.
And faith builds you,
Does not destructs you,
Yes it can put you in trials and tribulations,
It can test you!
To strengthen more and to fill the loopholes
and gaps with more compassion and kindness!
Only faith in something can uplift you and take
You to the direction of ultimate
progression whatever was meant for you.
Despise once and be doubtful about your existence,
You loose the sight of what you are holding tight!
It is a failed operation and you are a failure,
Failure for you not to understand
and comprehend the meaning of a blessing,
You wear an attire of misdiagnosis,
You take pills of wrong pathology,
You are medicated for false ailment,
You are hospitalized(jailed) for no reason,
In your own thoughts for having those thoughts,
Thoughts are the measure of what you are doing,
Beware of what you think and what you are going to believe,
It may be just a response or trigger.
Not your whole thought,existence and being!
If it was not for God,
Would I be able to accept you as mine-my
Part ever?!
If it was not for God,
Would I make you my soul-tie?!
A part of my soul and let it be filtered?!
If it was not for God,
Would I ever be able to find solace and
restore faith and order?!
By attempting to love you and again falling in love,
I found my inner-God in harmony and pleased,
Better to be a God-pleaser than to be a people-pleaser!
Hence, I will say my love for you is a roadmap
Towards the devotion of God-under construction and
rebuilding-inner-faith and freedom!
Devoted to God and higher spirits can make you
Truely independent, cause then;
you know what are the basics and urgent needs,
For God is the God of order!
And, order is what makes patterns
and incidents meaningful!
Everything is predestined but it is a free will to
Understand the destiny and work upon!
Oh, you fraudulent, fear the wrath of GOD!
Your eyes is the doorway to spirituality,
Also your eyes is the doorway to
corruption and a hell for eternity!
Look what you shall look and find serenity,
Look what you can look upon that is holy!
Look what you are permitted to see!
Look what you are limited to and know your boundary!
Because what you see and want to see,
Makes desire and desire further makes you act
And takes you to that direction,
As the eyes idealizes what you see!
Make a deal with your eyes, cover it with a lid,
Cause your footsteps depends on it!
Those who think themselves of god,
Act like one,
Those who claims the throne,
Believe that they deserve all the accolades and can create chaos.
Those who think themselves godly,
They can overpower and seize all the rights-
thinks it to be their inherited right to domineer,
Domination-they think it as a virtue to act upon.
Those who does not oblige by
God becomes the deviant version of God-The evil,
And is devoid of its very own essence-The inner-God.
God is the God of order
If it was not for God,
Would I be able to accept you as mine-my
Part ever?!
If it was not for God,
Would I make you my soul-tie?!
A part of my soul and let it be filtered?!
If it was not for God,
Would I ever be able to find solace and
restore faith and order?!
By attempting to love you and again falling in love,
I found my inner-God in harmony and pleased,
Better to be a God-pleaser than to be a people-pleaser!
Hence, I will say my love for you is a roadmap
Towards the devotion of God-under construction and
rebuilding-inner-faith and freedom!
Devoted to God and higher spirits can make you
Truely independent, cause then you know what are the basics and urgent needs,
For God is the God of order!
And, order is what makes patterns and incidents meaningful!
Everything is predestined but it is a free will to
Understand the destiny and work upon!
Oh, you fraudulent, fear the wrath of GOD!
Born on the first of November 1998 in UAE, Bangladesh, Farheen Akter Bhuian is a 24-year-old young poet. Her roots are in Chittagong, Bangladesh. She has written thousands of poems, both in her mother language Bangla and English, from a young age and published her poems in several magazines, newspapers, blogs, and anthologies.
Currently, she is studying at the University of Dhaka, Department of Sociology, and doing her post-graduation. She has completed her graduation from the same university. This is her first published book of English poetry, and many more to come in the upcoming years. Farheen writes from her passion for writing, from her innate love and zeal for poetry.