Yeah, I miss your smile, but you are toxic to me and not right. 

You were the wrong alley for me to ride.

You were just an espionage, 

But, I thought of you as my ‘Ikigai’, 

You are filled with vengeance. 

And, I was filled with love and laughter. 

But you burnt my smile.

I hoped you were a hot air balloon, 

We could fly. 

But you were a raccoon. 

Which I thought was a boon, 

You hid a spike in your attire to attack. 

Love is not easy; it never was. 

But I did the impossible by loving you. 

Staying is not easy, though.

But I stayed for a long, long time. 

enough just to realize the truth! 

You were a fancy lie that I took faith in. 

You were a fantasy mixed with ecstasy, whom I

wanted to be classy with my sassy, sharp comments,

but you would never commence the growth!

You are frozen and still, always on the same lethal ramp;

you are the same rampant sniper who shot me thrice on the weekends! 

I thought you would change over the years. 

I thought the spell of my love could alter your ways

But you didn’t, and my patience broke its silence! 

Now, after years of shifting moods and struggles, 

One thing is crystal clear—that you never existed in the love page. 

You were a kind of love made up in my head. 

You were an ugly truth that I wanted to hide beneath my veil of logic and senses! 

My sacrifice and level of understanding would always save you from the hemisphere. 

But, at the end, everything is in vain! 

Wrong sentiments and judgmental monotony cut your way of clairvoyance! 

Always!!

©® Farheen Bhuiyan Nancy

24 Feb, 2023

Rokeya Hall, DU