I am crying my heart out,
My lungs are screaming and whimpering in agony.
After a decade, I am crying loud for you like a new born child ushered into the world.
You know Adam?!
I don’t like the new.
I am good with the old.
I like old town,
Old watches,
Old scrolls,
Old classics and
Old you!
I wanted to grow old with you.
But, you know my hair is turning grey without you.
You know I am suffering.
Suffering without you-
In regrets, in guilt and in loneliness.
I know I can never find someone like you.
I wish if learning this lesson was enough for the God in heavens to return you to me.
God, tell Adam that Eve has learnt to value memories.
How can I remove you out my system?!
You are my most favourite person.
I never loved shallow.
Oh, I still so deeply immensely love you.
Now, in loss of a limb, I cry and whimper like a dog in midnight,
Crawling in my bed,
Pouring my heart into this neverending pain and disaster,
Oh, I was a fool in love to lose you in another’s hand!
I know there is no returning back.
I know you are all settled.
My deathbed is a gift from you for me,
I will die in memory of yours slowly and silently.
No one will know my cause of death.
It is you- Adam.
I cannot take this separation.
For how long?!
Ten years have passed.
More decades to go.
Can you sleep peacefully in your bed without thinking of me too?!
I am crying my lungs out for you,
Like an astray dog in midnight with no one around,
I am roaming around like a dog in search of you.
Trying to smell your fragrance in roadside foods.
I have become a dog in longing of you!
A sick dog, whimpering and crying in the suffocation of losing you.
I cannot breath.
I cannot breath.
I cannot breath.
My heart as if stopped pumping blood in the veins that used to run for you.
There is no oxygen.
No hopes.
I am dying slowly and gradually.
Nobody will know the reason were you!
A woman’s heart silently holds many secrets in seclusion,
But, I am exposing those.
My heart wants to ink your name in every prose, every rhyme I write because I want to keep records of your love,
How pure you were!
How genuine is your love!
I want the world to know Eve loved the finest man!
An unrequited love to be remembered for centuries to come!
Now, she is enjoying her slow burn.
A deathbed is arranged for her to embrace lonely nights.
It’s her lot to die.
A popular loner in the crowd
awaiting trials.
How do I forget the burden of the memories?!
Memories of losing you in another’s hand?!
Losing myself in another’s wrist?!
I was locked.
You were too.
I am freed,
But, you are not.
But, why do I keep feeling you?!
You are so distant far away yet so close to me.
Because, you reside in my heart,
There is no other place for you to go.
I am still stuck in 2015,
Probably, you are too!
©® Farheen Akter Bhuian Nancy
Timestamp: 3.03 am, Tagar