Stay my unrequited love my love,
Once pure always remains pure,
Don’t get filtrated among the others,
Don’t come close,
Don’t come in contact,
Cause, I am addictive and you won’t forget me for the next three decades and lifelong!
Don’t come close,
Don’t cross the borders,
I don’t want you to!
You are the albatross who shall fly high,
You are my little secret that I hide,
I know I can’t undo anything nor can I forget you,
Your heartbeat is replaying in my brain,
My prefrontal cortex is governed by your shadows.
My subconscious is ruled by your sweet memories,
Sweet kisses, and gentle strokes,
The way you used to call me ‘Fairy’
Is playing in a loop in my head,
You live inside my unconsciousness.
Consciously I try to repress your warmth,
Your height,
Your enormous muscle weight, yet you are so light!
Light in demeanour,
Soft in tone,
And, your softened eyes!
Oh, how can I forget!
How can I forget how you used to look at me with devotion?
I lost you and your devotion in the havoc of time!
My heart is in pain,
It’s aching…….
One day it will stop beating!
In longing and bitterness,
In guilt and regret – my heart is weighted.
After a decade……
Since a decade…….
And, a decade later…….
A small memory of a sweet kiss….
Is it enough?!
Perhaps!
There is a beauty in letting go,
But, more beauty goes to staying in….
Maybe, this time God wants me to teach to stay present…
Present in the chaos and find calm,
Inner peace.
©® Farheen Akter Bhuian Nancy
Time Frame: 12.3.25, 5.49 AM, Tagar, Mirpur Cantonment.