My younger self liked you.
She was immensely in love with you, so you were!
You loved the sweet and coy little girl from the town.
She had the innocent smile that would melt your heart so brick-like.
And, most importantly, she was naive.
She was unaware of the world.
You loved the sweet one who was easy to conquer.
You saw her as an opportunity and a conquest.
You didn’t love her being; her existence, her whole essence,
You didn’t seem to understand her soul and depth of her intelligence.
So, you could not settle for her growth.
You couldn’t depict the truth—the beautiful being she is developing to become!
You couldn’t bear the fact that she is blossoming.
You couldn’t defer or define her stronger version.
The older she is, the more powerful she becomes.
Just like a butterfly grows independent from a caterpillar, she gradually steps outside of her comfort zone.
She thought you were her companion, her comfort zone,
But you were never meant to be her peace!
You were a wrecking ball, and she burnt her toes intentionally to see the end,
to see how much of a human you pretended to be to get her love!
Actually, you never admired the great love she had;
You only loved her outer beauty, and an opportunist seeks every prospect a human can provide.
You didn’t bother yourself to bend your head to look deep into her inner beauty and inner being.
You don’t know the meaning of love—that is acceptance.
She accepted you for who you were—but you couldn’t!
So, she could make the sacrifice, but you wouldn’t.
Hola, shallow people don’t know how to make sacrifices.
Expecting to see them change is a delusion!
The younger she was, an illusionist!
She remained in her beliefs and illusions.
Until it was all cleared, she cleared the mess, clearing karma between you and her, and she moved on.
The younger she got, the more karma she received.
Now it’s time’s up.
Wait till you get yours.
Learning from her karma and beating it up,
She grew up.
She is enlightened.
She is a lighthouse.
Because she could finally resolve the unresolved within her heart and brain.
©® Farheen Bhuian Nancy
Circa 2023, Rokeya Hall, DU