No matter how many times you fall in love,
Love never fades away…
You carry a part of them with you always.
Until your soul is burdened with too much…
Every guilt, shame, horror and wonder,
You gain saturation and you surrender…
You say that’s enough, that’s okay…..
And, eventually oneday, you recongnise your soul, then you level up…..
You say no to temptations and temporary love,
This time you seek a soul dissecting mature love…..
You resolve all the shadows within you….
The anima and animus is calm now.
You balance love with life,
You understand what life means now with and without love…..
And, you don’t want to lose love now,
Nor wanna trade,
You know how to deal the inner and outer chaos….
You know how to handle it all together…
You know now that love doesn’t hurt,
Love doesn’t disrespect….
It grows with you for you….
It’s not forced, it just happens…
Open the doors for you…..
Doors of intimacy and closeness that you fear the most.
Doors of vulnerabilities that you ward off….
Surrendering to intimacy and vulnerability is so challenging if you can’t submit to them though…..
If you are not handled with care or comprehension and compassion,
What if someone takes advantage of your vulnerabilities and scars that haunts you?!
And, what if intimacy becomes a weapon to control you?!
Intimacy and vulnerability is two phases of the same coin that you treasure and keep locked…
Until that special person appears who can touch your psych by meeting your eyes and reach your soft spot.
Its so terrifying to open up to somebody….
And, exciting all along….
Fear and adrenaline rushes through your spine,
And, you just know It’s uncontrollable yet you try to repress it….
Repress it because of shame, fear and guilt…..
The ‘Moral Compass’ of your psyche never let’s you in and lets someone to take you in…..
You just can’t throw yourself to anybody that shows up there for you…..
You need that vulnerability to be felt, seen and comprehended,
Reciprocated when two people’s eyes meet,
Before words are spoken souls then synch,
Before any touch two heart beats for each other…
That’s the art of love,
Pure alchemy.
But, it happens only after the acceptance of two polarities….
Polarities of past and present,
Right and wrong,
And, most importantly the moral lessons,
This time you can’t love somebody irresponsibly.
And …. That’s why it is terrifying.
Intimacy then becomes a barrier….
That the shared vulnerability can remove by connecting two people together.
©® Farheen Akter Bhuian Nancy
Time Frame: 10.47 am, Officer’s mess, Mirpur Cantonment.